Everyone wants to be skinny.
That word though is not what I'm looking for. I'm starting to despise it even. Skinny. Just disgusts me.
"You're too skinny."
"How are you so skinny?"
"Why are you so skinny?"
"Have you lost weight?"
"Why aren't you eating?"
Girls grow up watching their mother curse at the scale when the numbers don't point the right way. And then they get mad when we do the same.
Always blaming that fast metabolism.
You know you're lying to yourself
and everyone else.
You
Are
Anorexic
The words that nobody wants to hear because it makes the images you know of skin and bone flash through the mind. Until eventually you're crying in the mirror when you look at yourself. And every time you here the words you know that really you haven't made any progress at all.
Trying hard for months to "get better".
But the numbers on the scale don't even budge. Eating more than you already do thinking maybe it'll help?
That's not the answer either.
Maybe there isn't an answer.
There's still the fear you can't control that roams through you're mind that you'll gain too much weight, that people will look at you and not want you anymore.
When finally happy in the body someone has to say something. To remind you that even when you feel healthy and you look good to yourself, you're still not better.
So you try harder,
but you don't even know what to do anymore. Where to start.
YOU ARE READING
Drowning Under Humanity
PoetryMy cover may not be pretty, And my insides may be dark, But the poetry that I have within my pages... They tell a story that no one can maintain. It's okay to not be okay, Happiness can be a mask. Sadness can be the water, In a sea that has a st...
