Those days when you try to talk but you just make it worse.
The days when you re-read all of the horrible texts over and over again just because you think you can learn something from it and change from it to become the better person.
But no, instead It just makes you feel worse about yourself.
When you don't even know what you want anymore, you just want to stop everything. Stop all of the contention, the misunderstanding, the talking.
All just to hear the silence and think.
But no, once again, the memories come.
The unforgettable memories that haunt you and take you down each day. To a place that's so deep you can't escape yourself.
While in reality you just sit on the floor of your bedroom, holding your knees to your chest and your head rests against the wall.
But does a single tear roll onto your cheek? Not always,
sometimes it's just the crying of your heart begging you to just stop the pain that's there. But you do nothing.
Yes, it does hurt, but at least you are feeling. Feeling something that is better than feeling empty.
When the feeling of emptiness enters, you are soulless, careless, and cold.
Some might say it's the same as feeling hurt, but not to you.
Next in line are the migraines that come for you. They take you down until your brain aches and you just want to go to sleep.
You want to sleep to get away from reality,
but you know what awaits you in your sleep. The nightmares that rule your mind.
The ones that replay over and over just to torture you.
But you know better, they are just the tragedies from your past that you can't move on from. Not something that your mind makes up.
Until you wake up crying in your bed.
Where you cuddle yourself because you know that nobody truly understands you except yourself.
So you lay staring in the dark, for hours upon
a time. In fear that you'll doze off or that something will happen to you.
But when you go to school, when you see
your friends, when you see your family?
You tell yourself that your not in pain,
that you're used to it, that your fine.
When they ask?
Your fine, ok, good, great.
But you internally know the truth.
You are struggling and you suffer.
You need help, but you don't want it so you don't ask.
So you continue to smile and wave at all of
the people that pass.
YOU ARE READING
Drowning Under Humanity
PoetryMy cover may not be pretty, And my insides may be dark, But the poetry that I have within my pages... They tell a story that no one can maintain. It's okay to not be okay, Happiness can be a mask. Sadness can be the water, In a sea that has a st...
