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Review: The Leader

The Leader by blue___22

Genre: Short Story/Slice of Life

Chapters Reviewed: 6 Chapters, Complete

Update Schedule: N/A

After losing the title as Champion to his rival, Blue is a full-time Gym-Leader at the Viridiana City Gym. His sister, Daisy Oak, is frustrated that he always gets home late and never spends time with her and their grandpa. As problems start to arise, Daisy will do anything to get them back to the way things were.

Warning: The author has given me the clear to give spoilers. In this review, I will touch up on a couple of spoilers, so please read at your own risk.

The sibling relationship between Blue and Daisy was very enjoyable to read. Though they have their differences, they look out for each other. This relationship between the two is very heartwarming to read, and it's very realistic as it reminded me of a few sibling relationships I know of.

That's what I love about this book. Instead of taking a traditional route of a journey or tell a love story that most Pokéfics will do, this one talks about the relationship between two siblings. It's very heartwarming in the end that despite all the drama the two went through, Daisy was able to figure out what was truly bothering Blue and fix the problem at the end. It's very easy to follow and quite enjoyable to read.

Throughout the story, there seemed to be some inconsistencies with the way the story was worded. I understand, shoving details in a short story can be hard, but there were times I felt as if the words on the page were perfectly written. There was a wide range of vocabulary that painted the scene perfectly, like when Daisy visits the Gym. The way the gym is described is perfect the writer uses phrases like, "cacophony of terror" and "tapestry of a circus" that really made me feel what the atmosphere of the Gym was like (chapter 2).

But, as I said before, this was inconsistent throughout the story. Once I was given a sneak preview of that kind of writing, I was a bit disappointed that the story didn't always keep up with that expectation. There were times in the story that I felt could've been described in the same way, but the scene was kept simple. In addition to that, there were some sentence structures needs a bit of work on. There were some missing commas, some sentences that need a bit of work in order for them to sound better. While all these things didn't happen often, it was enough to catch my eye and make a point that the author should be aware of this in her writing.

Another grammar problem was the inconsistencies of capitalization. This normally doesn't bother me (and even this story didn't bother me as much as well) but there are judges out there that may dock points if you're not consistent. As a stylistic choice, you have to choose whether you want to keep all the Pokémon terms lowercase, or if you want to capitalize then. The writer will capitalize thing's likes specific berries, but if that's going to happen in writings, words like "Elite Four" and "Trainer" should be capitalized as well. Again, this sort of thing doesn't take away from the storyline, but I know there are some contest judges who may take a point or two off for that sort of thing, so it may be something to look into.

Story wise, the thing that got me was the drinking hinted in the beginning. There were clues that Blue has a drinking problem in the first chapter. I was curious to see how this would play off as Daisy snatched the alcohol away from him before he could take a swig of it. As the book progressed, there were no signs of Blue wanting to drink. This part seemed a bit off as there was this huge scene in the first chapter, but it was never followed up, leaving me confused on why the drinking was significant other than it was a stressful night.

Other than that, this book was very well written. The fact that this book was made to show the after effects of Blue's lost of the Pokémon League—or more-so, his grandpa's words after the event—and the drama behind that, and create a story behind, was very well done. It shows that words have a way of effecting us, and the effects of what happens when we don't really think of how our words can create a huge impact on others. I love that that's the moral of the story (or at least, a major one besides sibling love). While it's a simple concept, it's a moral that I think everyone should be reminded of more often.

I also enjoyed that the author expanded more on Daisy's character. In the games, that's all she really is. Here, she's a caring sister, a good friend, a loving granddaughter, and ex-Coordinator, and her grandpa's assistant who isn't just one sided.

While the story is essentially about Blue's relationship with his Grandpa (as that's where the conflict arises) I like that it's told from Daisy's POV in a sense. It gives an outside perspective on things, which is refreshing as I don't normally read a lot of Pokéfic that's like that.

The ending of the book was real nice. Since the essential problem is Professor Oak not putting enough faith in his grandson when it comes to being a great Trainer (otherwise he would've been Champion...at least that's what Oak thinks), a battle between the two was a great way to wrap this up. I don't think talking it out, or having some other resolution would've worked, so ending the problem with this was great to see.

Overall, this book is an excellent read. I honestly enjoyed it as the brother-sister relationship was well-executed. While I see a few problems in it, there's not much. Most of them, I'd probably turn a blind eye to as well. I wish this book the best of luck with any upcoming competitions it may be entered in as there are so many good things going for this book.