Junie's Reviews and Promo Book (Closed)

Review: Strange

Strange by @sushiifloof

Genre: Fantasy.

Chapters Reviewed: 2 chapters.

Update Schedule: N/A.

Strange is just getting started here on Wattpad, but from what I can tell, this book is about a girl named Finnegan who has lived in a forest all her life, and is under the care of Virizion. This is until the girl found a letter addressed to her telling her to get out and starts her journey. Even though she had no idea who this letter was from, she decides to leave, starting her Pokémon adventure.

That part kind of confused me. Why was Finnegan so willing to leave what she knew her whole life for some strange letter. Now, this book only has two chapters, so it could explain this point later on in the story. Being that there are only two chapters, I have a lot of unanswered questions, a bit too much for my liking.

But, even with the lack of explanations, I love that the book starts off with great imagery. It doesn't start off with the plot, but rather, it starts off describing the area around Finnegan. The forest is very serene as the Pokémon swim and mind their own business. Things seem calm, and that's something that's very nice to read.

Another thing I enjoyed was how the first chapter reminded me of an old comic I read years ago. In that comic, the main character lived among the Pokémon, becoming their friend, and was basically a Pokémon himself. While he was untamed, I liked that Finnegan was a bit more reserved. She's curious as to why she was there, but at the same time, she loves being with them.

While she does wonder why she didn't grow up among the humans, I find it a bit odd that she found a letter in the forest and was able to read it. If she lived in the forest her whole life, how was it she could read it? Reading is something we're taught. Granted, it is the first two chapters, so this question may be answered later on; however, that should've been addressed earlier as it Finnegan's actions puzzled me.

I understand that she's curious as to why she wasn't raised by her kind, but I wished the book would've stressed that a bit more. I wished this because she considers one of the Pokémon her mother. If she does that, then why would she want to still leave? This is just one of the actions she does that confuses me, so my piece of advice is to assume the reader knows absolutely nothing and explain things from the very beginning. More often than not, your reader isn't going to know what's going on unless you explain it to them.

Besides storyline, there's a lot of formatting and grammar than needs fixed. It's fixable, but it will take time. See, when writing a book, you want it to stand out, but not in terms of format. Centering everything and bolding random lines of dialogue or thoughts isn't a good plan because books aren't supposed to do that. Luckily, this is an easy fix. Instead of centering it, make sure that everything is lined up to the left. While the bold dialogue may show that's what Finnegan is saying, dialogue should always be unbolded, not bolded at random. The exception is when a character is using telepathy or a character is thinking something. In that case, it's a stylized choice to use italics or italics inside of quotation marks.

Grammar is another thing. There are multiple sentences that don't end in periods. There are periods located where commas should be and vis versa. There are missing commas. There are words that should be capitalized but aren't...the list goes on. While the story still makes sense without it being correct, it can make it a bit hard to read at points. Using correct punctuation gives the reader time to pause and collect zie's thoughts. It also makes it look more professional.

Spelling is another major key issue. The good news is that at a quick glance, a person can easily dismiss it, but the more you read into the story, the more noticeable it gets. Words can be hard to spell. For me, I have to really think how to spell "definitely" correctly as the second "e" can easily turn into an "I". I've noticed the same thing happens in this book, as Kalos is sometimes spelled with an "h" after the "K". That's not right.

All of these can be easily fixed with a bit of editing. Editing takes a lot of time, and I know how exciting it is to want to post new chapters as soon as they're done. Even if you edit before posting, it's never a bad idea to go back to the story once it's up and do some more. There is no such thing as too much editing. Editing can help your book as it becomes easier to read, which makes it more enjoyable for more readers.

And while using the same starter Pokémon can be boring to read, if you're going to have the character receiver their first Pokémon from a professor, it's best to use an original starter. If you chose that the main character isn't going to start of with a classic starter Pokémon, find a different reason than the professor finding new Pokémon to chose from. Being that Finnegan is from the forest, you could've easily had her be friends with one of the Pokémon in the forest, and have that Pokémon follow her into the lab. This is just a suggestion, of course, but this could've turned into her starter Pokémon. It's become a major cliché in Pokéfiction to have a professor come up with "new starters" to get the new Trainer to chose something different. There's nothing wrong with that, but seeing it happen time after time can get a bit redundant when there are more creative ways to have this happen.

It sounds like I may be harping on the story a lot, but I do see a lot of potential in this story. That doesn't mean that it's all bad. In fact, I love it that the writer incorporates a Legendary Pokémon that is never seen much in Pokéfic: Virizion. Normally, from what I've seen, when a Trainer is living in the forest, zie is taken care of by Mew or Celebi. I love that Virizion takes that place. Being that it isn't a major Pokémon and is used to be a caretaker of sorts, it's really neat to see.

Even though Virizion is only in the first chapter (out of the two I've read) she's become my favorite character in this. Her motherly figure shows in her actions. She asks if Finnegan is alright, and gives her some advice to get better. Even Finnegan refers to the Pokémon as "Mother". That's really neat to see.

I also enjoy Finnegan's name. I've always had a soft spot for unique names, and having one that has a nicknames that is just as fun—Finn—it's enjoyable to read. The name is so happy sounding, which makes me smile a bit more as well.

With a bit of editing, I'm sure this book will be off to great things. It's just too early to tell what I really think about it in terms of characters, plot, and other elements of the book right now. Still, it seems like this story could be a great adventure once it does gain a few more chapters.

UPDATE: This book has now been taken off of Wattpad. Sorry for the inconvenience.