Jamie (boyxboy)

7 - guilty pleasures

Or maybe I shouldn't assume he is straight.

With a quick shake of my head, I move on. When I find Alias Grace, my interest is piqued.

Hunter jumps down the stairs, and by jump I mean he literally jumped. He tosses me a comforter, his hair a mess from whatever the hell he was up to.

"Find something?" The football star plops onto the couch on the other side and then looks at the screen, reading the summary.

I nod then look at him, knowing he isn't looking at me. It isn't like he can hear the rocks rattling in my head.

"Uh, yeah. Sound interesting?"

Hunter nods kinda eagerly, "The food will be here shortly so we should be eating soon."

Quickly, I toss the remote to him and the episode starts. While we watch it is completely silent in the room. Until he door bell rings.

"I'll get it," He pauses the episode we are 7 minutes into and walks to the door.

There are a few mumbled words at the door, but pretty soon he is carrying 4 bags of food to the glass coffee table. The smell is irresistible and it gets my stomach rumbling.

"Eat as much as you want, they are eating there."

With that the episodes continue and we dig in to our food. By the time I finish my meal it is hard not to doze off. Eventually I slip into a food induced dream.

• • •

I wake up to the sound of soft sniffles. When I sit up, immediately my eyes go to Hunter who is crying on the couch, head in his hands.

"Hunter?" I call out softly, but he doesn't seem to hear me.

It is then that I notice he is shaking uncontrollably. His breathing is rapid, while tears stream down his cheeks.

I stand up quickly and move close to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "H-Hunter what is it? What's wrong?"

No reply.

I try to think fast, looking around and even standing up almost. What the hell is happening to him?

"Can't...breathe."

Suddenly it clicks. Panic attack.

I have dealt with Naomi's panic attacks before, hopefully his arent more severe.

I grab his hands and raise them slowly, "Breathe with me. Up," I lower his hands, "Down."

Hunter sniffles and quivers a bit, making me even more worried.

"In and out," I say softly.

Hunter slows down slightly, breathing heavily but steady. He pulls me close and hugs me tightly, not letting me go. Even though he squeezes hard, I don't pull away from him. I wrap my arms around his neck while he buries his face into mine.

We stay this way for so long, my legs go numb from kneeling.

"Hunter," I say in his ear an octave higher than a whisper, "You're ok."

Hunter completely relaxes then releases me slowly, cheeks rosy from crying.

"I'm sorry," He croaks softly, I want to ask him what happened but I'm afraid of triggering another panic attack so I refrain.

I am staring into his eyes and he is staring into mine. I almost lose myself in the blue oceans his eyes contain. It feels like we are leaning closer, but I don't have time to tell because my phone vibrates consistently in my pocket.

I stand up then apologize, leaving and standing on the front porch to answer it. The caller ID surprisingly makes me deflate even more.

I answer it and put the phone up to my ear, "Hello?"

A uneven voice answers me, a smile in his voice, "Hey, baby."

Travis's voice soothes my ears and wipes away all the anger, I smile, "Forget my number or something, big bear?"

He chuckles on the other side of the line, "No I have just been busy."

"How are the others?" I tilt my head, the wind caressing my face.

Travis sounds hesitant to answer, "They are good. The twins are kinda becoming a handful without you."

I laugh lightly then a sad smile overcomes my features. They must miss me. I miss them more than anything.

"Oh. I guess I will have to visit sometime then," There is some noise in the background which is strange since everyone is normally asleep at this time.

I assume Travis is doing something and brush it off. There is silence for a while until Travis speaks up again.

"We have a new kid," I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, what's his name?"

"Ashton. He just moved in today," I smile happily.

Finally Jack and Jaycee will have another friend.

"I'm sure the kids love that. Do they get along well?" I smile and try not to sound too excited.

"The kids? They like him...I guess. I mean he isn't really their age group," Travis laughs a bit uneasily.

I nod slowly, finally catching on. So by kid he means teen. I see.

"Oh? How old is he? Is he nice at least?" I try not to sound hesitant.

The line goes dead a minute and I think he might have ended the call but he suddenly speaks again.

"17. He is cool as hell. You'd like him, Jaime."

I am silent until he continues, "What about you? How is the foster family?"

Like hell I would like him. I'm jealousy's bitch at this point. But I don't have the right. Suddenly, I feel guilty.

"It is nice. There are two kids and a guy my age."

"Oh."

"Yeah. He is pretty cool. We were just watching Netflix when you called," I take a breath.

"That's cool. I'm happy it's going well."

Silence. It stretches over two minutes and I bite my lip.

"I love you." I say softly

"Yeah."

More silence, "I think I'm going to get some sleep."

There is another long pause, "Ok. Goodnight"

"Goodnight, baby."

The call ends and I stay outside for a few minutes, ignoring how uneasy I feel. I take a deep breath before turning around and going back inside.

I hear soft snores and I decide to lay back down on the couch, frowning.

And for the first time in a while, I cry myself to sleep.