BBC: Sherlock x Reader

Time and Then Some |Part Seven|

"I didn't,"

Y/n nods slowly and ran a hand through her hair, she began pacing again and Sherlock could do nothing but watch her do so silently, allowing her a chance to gather her thoughts.

He saw this coming, he knew eventually that it would happen, he just didn't expect it so soon. Trying to live without letting people know the nature of your own existence is difficult enough without dragging anyone into it; He should have listened to Mycroft.

"Sherlock..." Y/n mutters, staring at him, and Sherlock stares back blankly, "That's your name isn't it?"

"William Sherlock Scott Holmes." He confirms with a nod, shifting on his feet eyeing her still, his expression now dark. "James put you up to this didn't he? Typical of him." He says with a low chuckle, he shakes his head and moved from his spot in front of the door. "The door is unlocked, you're free to leave."

"Why would....why would I leave?"

When her quiet voice met his ears again, Sherlock turned to face her. She looked genuinely confused, and that bothered him. She should leave, she should go running and screaming for man and God to hear, she could not stay.

Sherlock can not allow her to stay, he would no longer allow himself to ruin her life. She'd be left with him treading on her toes and looking over her shoulder waiting for the worst to happen.

There were many things he should've done when he met her, firstly, he should have just left her alone. He shouldn't have seen her again, he shouldn't have wanted to so badly. He shouldn't have left himself so open, so vulnerable to lingering human emotions and desires and the need to have someone close to him.

With breakneck speed, Sherlock was on her, his hands gripping her shoulders tightly, pushing her back roughly against the wall. He wished he didn't have to do this, that Mycroft had just minded his own business and Moriarty had kept his nose out of his affairs. Now he has no choice.

"Do think you could live like this? In this hell forever?" Sherlock snaps, his grip on her shoulders tightening, "Suffering alone in the dark and watching everyone you love and care for wither and die. Insanity will claim you before your life here ends, you will lose yourself knowing that your family has lived and grown and died leaving you here to continue this wretched existence."

The fear in her eyes did nothing but brake Sherlock, as he watched her tears chase each other down her red cheeks. He gave her the answer to her unvoiced question, there was no doubt she wanted to know how he survived, how he was standing before her now. So he showed her, the secret he had been adamant to keep since the night they met, a panicked gasp left her parted lips and she struggled to get out of his hold.

"You're..."

"Yes." Sherlock seethes, giving her a smile and a very clear view. "Now you know."

He lets go of her as though she burned him and stepped back, "Get out." He watched as she scrambled for her things and darted out the room, he listened to her hurried footsteps down the stairs and the slam of the door. Sherlock lets out a broken sigh, his hands coming up to grip his hair tightly.

It was always going to be this way, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, this was how it was going to end.

A cry left him as he took his anger out on the contents of his living room, he was angry at himself, the things he's done to get him here, the hand that fate had dealt him. It wasn't fair, why wasn't he allowed to have a moment of peace? A silver of normality in his not so normal life? Was it so hard for the universe to allow him that? After everything he's been through.