August 26th 2014

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All of us girls sit in the lounge room - awaiting the return of the boys. It was their 4th search this week looking for Grey. Each time unsuccessful, each time everyone loses hope. We sit silently looking at the floor, waiting for the familiar screech of the car rolling up. The boys have left signs everywhere around town reminding him where we are, and that we are still waiting for him, but we all know the truth. No one goes missing in a Lurker filled town for 11 days and survives, by yourself. Every time the boys return without him, everyone's eyes eventually land on me, waiting for impact, but I just stare silently at them, before apologising for wasting their time and going to my room. I would cry, if I had any tears left. I have cried so much in the past week I feel like I can't cry any more, I am numb now. One day eventually I will be okay, but for now those last words keep replaying in my head. We hear the screech of the brakes stopping and I get up, running up the stairs and into my room where I can see out the front. I watch Nolan and Lincoln get out of the tray, and then Parker, Beau and Finn get out of the car before shutting the door behind them. They walk alone to the front gate and unlock it, walking in and closing it behind them again. They didn't find him. I turn my back on the window and head for my door, and then back downstairs to the lounge room where the first person is entering the house.

"I'm sorry Alex." Beau said as he hugged Willow. I smiled at him.

"It's fine. I didn't expect you to find him." I said. Finn, Lincoln, Parker and Nolan walked in, dirt on their faces and clothes.

"What happened to you?" Bennett asked walking over and hugging Nolan.

"Well, we found the car." Lincoln said looking at me, "It was parked - well we think he ran out of gas - next to a small area of woods. Nolan being the tracker he is couldn't find any trace of him walking down either ends of the road, so he suggested woods. We followed a pair of footprints about a k but then he must've started to run from something, so they got muddled and we lost them."

"How old were the tracks?" Nikki asked.

"A week to 5 days, they had some leaves covering them, so it was a while ago." Nolan said avoiding my eyes. I smiled at them all.

"Thank you so much for trying." I said going to turn around.

"We can go out again tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we don't mind."

"No, don't waste your petrol. He's gone and we all know it. Don't pretend to have hope around me, I am a big girl, I am not blind." I say half smiling.

"There is hope." Beau said.

"If that was true we would've found more than a broken down car and week old footprints that could've belonged to anyone." I sighed. "You guys have done enough. Please, save your time." I started to walk up the stairs while they whispered behind me.

+++

I walk back downstairs once its gone dark, looking for Willow to tell her something. I find her sitting silently on the couch with Beau while he chatted with Finn.

"Willow?" I asked. She looked up at me and smiled slightly. "Can you come with me?" she nods and stands, following me out of the lounge room and into the empty kitchen.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"When I was 11, I used to go into that pantry and gorge on food," I say making her laugh, "Well, one day I moved a packet of iced Vovo's and found a button, which of course I pressed." I walked over and opened the pantry door, going in and showing her the green button, "and this part of the wall opened." I pressed the button, making the part of the wall slide sideways and put bottles and bottles of various alcoholic drinks on display. Willow widened her eyes and smiled. "It's not cold, but it's something." I said. She hugged me and grabbed as many bottles she could handle. I repressed the button putting it in hiding again. "It's our little secret. They can't know we got it from here or they'll drink it all." She nodded and headed out of the pantry and back into the lounge room.

"Party time?" she says as Beau and Finn look at her.

"YES!" Beau said standing and putting his arms in the air. Willow settled the bottles down on the table.

+++

"You were how old?" Bennett said laughing. It is 2:00am and everyone is still up, drinking.

"17! And I had never kissed anyone before so imagine how awkward it was!" Willow screeched. She was so drunk, it was hilarious.

"I got my belly button pierced when I was 17!" Nikki said.

"I am 17!" I giggled. I was drunk too.

"You're only a baby!" Finn laughed.

"Hey I'm 18!" Lincoln said.

"At least your legal to drink!" I said pouring myself a drink. I think it was vodka, but I have had so many I can hardly tell the difference anymore.

"Beau and Willow? What's going on?" Bennett said pointing at them.

"We're in love!" Beau screamed laughing. Willow nodded making a heart with her hands. "And her boobs are amazing!" he added. I laughed.

"Hey - hey..." Willow said slapping his arm. "We're going to regret telling them that..." she laughed.

"Who cares? People that love each other should be together!" Beau slurred.

"Like Grey and Alex should be together." Bennett said. My laugh faded, but no one else's did.

"But he's probably dead! A meat suit for a Lurker to walk around in!" Finn said.

"Shut up." Lincoln said.

"No but think about it, Grey being chased! He would have no hope." Everyone laughed but Lincoln and I. I began to feel tears forming gin my eyes.

"Ahhhh a Lurker, please don't eat me!" Nikki said imitating him. I bit my lip as it continued.

"Where do you think the most juiciest place on Grey is?" Parker said laughing.

"His butt!" Bennett called cackling. I looked at Lincoln as my first tear dropped.

"Shut up!" Lincoln yelled but no one listened.

"Imagine his ripping flesh! Just imagine that! What shade pink do you think he is?" Beau said. Willow slapped him harder, after looking at me.

"The Lurker version wouldn't even know who you are Alex!" Nikki called sticking her tongue out. I stood dropping the cup onto the floor and everyone went silent. Nikki had taken it too far. Lincoln stood too, waiting for how I would react.

"I think I am going to go to be." I said sniffing. Another tear dropped to my cheek but I wiped it away.

"I'll help you up the stairs." Lincoln said. I nodded and headed for the stairs. I waited for Lincoln, who put his hands on my waist for balance as I climbed the stairs. We reached the top and he let go, before putting his arm around my shoulders, walking me to my room. He opened the door for me and walked me inside. He took his arm off me and pulled down my sheet. He then walked over to my draws and pulled out a shirt and a pair of loose shorts. He handed them to me to put on and turned around, looking out the window. I took my shirt off and replaced it with the new one that buttons up down the middle, then slide my pants down my legs and pulled up new ones.

"Done." I said making him turn around. He grabbed my hand and helped me get into bed. He cleared his throat and helped me pull up my doona.

"Sleep well." He said.

"They didn't mean what they said right?" I asked before he left.

"No - they - they are just drunk. Just ignore them." he said smiling. He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

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