I wish I hated you

Chapter 9: tiny little crush

I got in the house and started cleaning.

I have been cleaning for a while but I wanted this house to be spotless so that, that way there won't be a reason for my dad to, to... be mad at me. It's been about an hour since Phillip dropped me of and since then I've been day dreaming about him.

About his smile, his cute dimples and those eyes those WAIT what the, I immediately stop cleaning, my day dreams are put on pause by the sight of it...a condom rapper of course my dad had one of his what I like to call them drunken mistakes.

Witch means my dad got sky high drunk and had sex with a women and after that he feels guilty like he cheated on my mom and to get rid of that feeling he skips town, drinks his feeling away comes back with almost all of it gone and to get rid of that little bit he beats me its kind of the circle of life.

FUCK.

I breath in deeply It's fine I'll just take this time to prepare for the beating because you know what? warriors don't cry and I am fucking warrior.

Ladies and gentleman this is a strange sighting of me feeling good about myself so go ahead, take it in they don't last long.

I finish cleaning the house and head to my room.

As I lay in my bed I wonder what would it be like to be normal, to not always worry about the time to be careless to be happy instead of afraid when you see your fathers face to have a happy family what would that feel like?

Serg went threw a religious phase and told me that God choose me for this life because he knew I could handle it but... can I really I just want to be happy I just want my father to love me that's all I want.

Tears start rolling dawn my cheeks Fuck I just said that I was a warrior and that warriors don't cry but maybe I don't want to be a warrior maybe I just want what, what... what I don't know um, what Phillip has a happy life with a perfect family.

I told you those moments were I feel good about myself they don't last long.

                   

                                                                 *******************

I wake up the next morning missing Phillip's extremely tight hug seriously the hug was comforting but it also kind of felt like he was trying to squeeze the life out of me.

I don't want to wake up but then I remember that Phillip is going to pick me up and that drags me out of bed and puts me in front of my closet.

As I look to the 5 shirts 2 jeans and 2 shorts that I own I think why? just... why? Oh lord Jesus why the fuck does every pare of clothes I ow have to be old and stained why- WAIT the outfit that Serg gave me for my birthday.

If you are confused don't worry I will explain. Every year for my birth day Serg goes out of his way to buy me a present usually I return them and give him the money back but last year he was  sneaky and cut the tags of the clothes that he bot me so I didn't know were to return them so know I ow a really cute out fit (picture is up.)

When he gave it to me he said to use it to woo the males.

yes he said that.

Usually I don't care about wooing the males because I don't need no man but for some reason today I want to look good for Phillip no not for Phillip for me Phillip will just casually be there and like it.

Or at least I hope he likes it.

I put on the outfit make my bed then obviously I get out of the house.

Oh my God plot twist nobody saw that coming.

I sit there anxiously waiting.

Waiting fucking suck your just sitting there alone with your thoughts and my thoughts are no Bueno so what I'm gonna do know is distract myself because I don't want to think about Phillip anymore.

What's your favorite food?

yes I'm asking questions to myself, yes it's weird and if your wondering yes I do talk to myself... what? it's comforting it doesn't mean I'm crazy.

Ok so my favorite food is...um I know cupcakes its just that they taste so good and smell delicious just like Phillip .no. He is just so perfect with those beautiful eyes and that amazing six pack that was probably carved by god himself.

No, no, no abort, ABORT.

And that jawline Oh my God don't even get me started on his jawline IT'S SO FREAKING SHARP seriously you could cut trees with it and, and... I'm ranting about Phillip.

I put my hand on my forehead.

Why? why oh lord mighty Jesus why? why the heck do I have to be talking about how I don't need no man and then 2 seconds later I have to be ranting about a guy I just met 2 days ago. Oh my God maybe I am crazy no, no, no I think...I may have a tiny little crush on Phillip.

I start hyperventilating.

No, no don't freak out it's just a tiny little crush nothing to worry about it'll go away I promise.

And then right on que apears nonetheless Phillip Young.

He takes his helmet of and looks at and when he does I do the thing that anyone and everyone would do I blush "MAYA you look-" ah I left him speechless I blush even harder.

"You look radiant, gorgeous, amazing wow just... wow."

"You know why I like you? Because you always speak your mind" mother fucker, did I just say that I like him? I definitely just said that I like him.

FUCK.

                                   *************
                                       Phillip

I leave the house and go pick up Maya

I hope she didn't forget I'm going to pick her up.

I'm so nervous, why am I so nervous? Everyday at dance class I see a bunch of girls and never care but with Maya it's different, she's just so pretty and smells like freshly baked cinnamon rolls and I'm sure her heart is filled with all the love in the world.

I hope she's the one, I think she is because I kind of have a crush on her but she can't know I think she doesn't feel the same way.

Oh my God my thoughts are so... odd.

Luckily I arrive and am distracted from my thoughts witch just kept getting weirder.

I stop and take of my helmet and then look at Maya and when I do my jaw drops "MAYA you look-" she looks so good that she left me speechless "you look radiant, gorgeous, amazing wow just wow just... wow."

She gets close to me "you know why I like you? Because you always speak your mind" oh my freaking god did she just say that she liked me? This is so exiting.

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A/C: I hope that you like this chapter sorry for any grammar mistakes I just really wanted to post so I didn't have time to check.