Bury a Friend | Hemlock Grove |

Chapter 21 | Sleepovers |

"You won't scream," he tells her. He's right, she won't scream. "You're going to be honest with me." She nods. "Do you like fucking me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think about it a lot?"

"Yes."

"Do you still like Peter?"

"Yes."

"Do you like me?"

"No."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," she replies with no hesitation.

Roman stares down at her, her eyes are vacant and obedient. She would do anything he said. "Go back to class, this never happened." She nods and leaves. He turns back to the mirror and dabs a wet paper towel under his nose. He returns to class as if nothing happened.

He contemplates skipping the rest of the day. He's way too focused on the full moon that night to even look like he's paying attention to his teachers. Even at lunch, he feels a bit spaced out which Shelley picks upon.

Are you okay? She types out.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Shell," he smiles at her. "Just tired I guess."

Will you be home tonight?

"No, sorry. Peter and I are having a little sleepover," he smiles empathetically to her. He would hate to be left home alone with Olivia.

"Sleepover?" Letha pops in. "Are you guys going to talk about boys and paint your fingernails."

"Yes," Peter jokes. "And when we're done we're going to have a pillow fight."

"I'm a little jealous," Letha flirts teasingly with him. Peter can feel Romans glare on him. "Maybe some other time."

Like the day before, Emma sees their interaction. She tries and fails to ignore it. Every glance up causes a small twinge of guilt to appear in her stomach. It's not like her to have feelings of jealousy towards a relationship. The girls in her friend group had dated and had their hearts broken then re-fell in love a million times over. Emma had always been content as an observer.

Now though- not so much. Now she doesn't feel so content. Not only is their guilt for having feelings towards someone that was a friend, she feels guilty for looking so lowly on Letha. Emma couldn't see why he liked her instead. Why she was the one he was gravitated to.

Sure she was sweet and kind, but she was bland. She was a stickler for the rules, and Emma hated it when she was around growing up. Roman adored her, absolutely idolized her as the epitome of kindness and virtue- something he himself would never be. Even against the cruelest intentions, Letha met them with consideration and patience.

It made Emma sick.

There's no reason she should look down upon Letha. She knows that she's being irrational, but she can't shut it down. He loved Letha so much that he didn't care she was pregnant, he was going to raise the baby as his own. He didn't care, she was worth it. And even in her predicament, she upheld her status as innocent and pure.

She would never do the things I've done.

_______

Emma tries to play it cool that evening when she gets home. She has dinner with her mom and does her chores. Once Kay's car is out of the driveway the facade falls. When the sun starts to set she really starts to worry. It's stupid, she knows, but she's still a little afraid.

She can't let herself sleep that night. She's locked herself in her bedroom with no intention of moving. It's funny how you realize how much you don't want to die when death is at your doorstep. There's a light sprinkle coming down outside, but she doesn't dare peak out the window to look at it.