32 - i was afraid

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Heather's pov

The silent floats around awkwardly and making me extremely uncomfortable, something I'm not used to around Duff

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

The silent floats around awkwardly and making me extremely uncomfortable, something I'm not used to around Duff. But maybe that's what happens when you break up with the love of your life and spend six months without talking to them.

We both agreed we needed to talk, but nobody has said a word. And what do we need to talk about? Our relationship is doomed because I did something I shouldn't.

I ruined the best thing I've ever had in my life and I can't blame anyone else but myself for this. I screwed up. I screwed up bad.

Breaking Duff's heart was the most unforgivable thing i've ever done, and it's not forgiveness I'm seeking for, because I know I don't deserve it.

The air around his heavy as I pinch the skin of my thighs, anxious about what's to come next.

Last night I knew there was pain in his eyes, it was so obvious and it cut my breath short, it still does just by thinking about it. He asked for something I could never do. I've been lying to myself for the last months by saying we're better off in separate paths, but telling him I don't love me, I could never be able to say.

And to be honest, I have no idea how are we going to fix the mess I created. Is it even a viable possibility for us to go back together or is it out of the book already?

What is the right thing to do?

"Heather." His voice calling my name so calmingly straddles me a bit, making me jump on my seat on the couch beside him.

Looking at him, it begins to be hard to breath. All I wanna do his hug him, kiss him, feel his arms around me and for him to tell me it's going to be fine.

My life is going amazingly, my career started off just great, but without him, everything seems upside down.

Duff gets closer to me, grabbing my hands in his. "Heather." He repeats my name before letting out a deep sigh. "I love you more than anything else in the world. And all I want, is to have you back. I'm not going to lie, these last six months were hell on earth. I would find myself wondering why you broke things off out of nowhere. Why did you?"

My eyes water as I take a deep breath looking for the answer he's seeking for. I've been telling myself that I did this to save both him and I from the pain of always being apart, when in reality...

"I was afraid." I answer, my voice cracking at the end. A lump in my throat forms and I try fight back the tears.

"Afraid of what?" A frown mixed with concern takes over his pretty face.

"Everything, Duff." I say, trying to stay collected and calm. "Of losing you so I pushed you away first. Afraid of you leaving, afraid you might find someone much better and less messed up than me."

"I would never leave you, Heather. Nor find someone better than you, and you know why? Because you're already perfect."

"I know. I know that, but now it's too late." Not being able to contain them anymore, I crack in tears and feel his arms wrap around me. "I'm so sorry." I say between the sobs.

ʟɪᴠᴇ ꜰᴀꜱᴛ, ᴅɪᴇ yᴏᴜɴɢ // 𝐝𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐦𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐧حيث تعيش القصص. اكتشف الآن