I can't take it anymore

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"I've never been so torn up

In all of my life

I should have seen this coming

I've never felt so hopeless

Than I do tonight

I don't want to do this anynore

I'm moving on"

-Asking Alexandria, "Moving On"


     I swear living with my own family is like a suicide mission. They scream at me all the time. It's like nothing I do matters unless it's something bad. I'm tired of getting the blame for everything. Me and my brother are fighting, they assume it's my fault. I'm sick of this life. I can't stand the constant screaming, bitching, anger, sadness, and depression. 

      We don't even eat dinner as a family. We usually eat seperately because we can't even stand being near each other for that long. I don't know how to change it, but I know that when I finally get out of here I will be a much happier person.

      I feel like I have to change myself to make a difference in my family. I have to lose weight for them to be proud of me. I have to be really smart to even matter, which I am not smart. My mom says I would be an honors student if I applied myself a little more. She doesn't understand that I'm doing everything I can. I study, I pay attention, and I always do my work. I don't know what more they want from me. I'm not all brains like my brother and I don't have a very special talent, but isn't what matters is the fact that I am here and I am their daughter. Does it really matter what I am good at? Why can't they just be proud that they still have a daughter. I can't tell you how close they are to losing their own daughter because they don't care enough to listen to anything she says.


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