I can help you if you want it

19

" No we be depressed all day. That's doing something " Nick says and I chuckle that being true. " Have you seen Colbs? " I ask my cousins looking at them. They both shake their heads. " Last time I've seen him was at the arena Tuesday and we didn't talk " Jonathan tells me. I sigh and lay on my bed looking at the ceiling. I don't know why me and Nick stare at this damn ceiling so much but we do.

" Whipped " I hear Nick state. I roll my eyes and look at him who's already looking at me. " Shut up " I say to him and he just flips me off. " Oh they do fight " Josh says since earlier he asked how we don't fight ever. I just shrug and go back to staring at the dumbass ceiling. " Have you talked to JoJo? " Josh ask me. JoJo didn't want to travel anymore so she lives with Brandon who's Colby's older brother. Didi's baby Parker lives there also.

" I talked to her last night " I say and they nod. We're silent for a couple minutes. Me and Nick just staring at the ceiling and Josh and Jonathan on their phones. " You still didn't check Joe. That's not fair " Nick complains. I roll my eyes and look at him. " Why do you think I need to be checked? " I ask him confused. " I don't I just don't think it's fair they only check me " he says making me roll my eyes again.

" Ok fine. Joe pull your sleeves up " Josh says so Nick will shut up. I bite the inside of my lip not wanting to. " Why? " I ask being stubborn. " Just pull them up " Jonathan says annoyed. I shake my head no not wanting to just because Nick thinks it's not fucking fair. " Did you cut yourself? " Jonathan ask since I won't pull my sleeve up. I shake my head no. " Pull them up then " Josh tells me getting agitated. I just stay still so they walk over to me and try grabbing at my wrist but I of course being the stubborn bitch I am move my hands away.

" Yeah he definitely cut himself. I already seen it " Nick says making me groan. They get my arms and pull up my sleeve seeing cuts from last night. Josh slaps me in the back of my head. " Told you " Nick says. I roll my eyes and look at him. " You cut your hip this morning so fuck off " I say basically snitching on him which I don't do. As much as he snitches on me I don't do to him. Just because I really don't care but whatever. Nick flips me off as Josh and Jonathan tell him to show them. He stands up and takes his shirt off so they can see the new cuts from this morning. Josh also slaps him in the back of the head making him just sit back down on his bed.

" Why do you guys keep doing that? " Jonathan ask us making Josh give him a look. Me and Nick just ignore that question since we don't want to answer it. " I'm serious like does that make you feel better? " he then ask. Nick groans and puts his face in the pillow. This is the exact reason we hide our cuts from them. Because we hate the lecture that comes after. " Doesn't that shit hurt? " Jonathan ask since we aren't answering the other questions. Nick just bangs his head on his pillow.

" No it doesn't hurt " I say truthfully. " Why do you do that? Does that make you feel better about yourself? " he ask us. I shake my head no and Nick just gets up probably going away from this conversation. " We do it because we feel like we deserve it and if we do it we might die " Nick says before walking in the bathroom, Josh and Jonathan watching the door to see if he locks it which he doesn't. Nick walks out after a couple seconds. He pulls his sleeves up showing my cousins that he didn't do anything. He then lays back on his bed.

" Are you guys coming to the live event? " Josh ask us. We both shake our head no and he just sighs. " Alright we'll be back in two hours " Josh tells us then they leave. I just pull the blankets over me planning to go to sleep. That's basically all I do without Colby.

" Fucking finally " I hear Nick say. I chuckle and see him stand up. He goes to the fridge and grabs a water. " We should lock them out " I say joking. " I'm down " Nick says and walks over to the door locking it. I laugh and just get up walking to the bathroom.