Choking on Diamonds

Thirty One

My eyes had blinders on and my one track mind was working overdrive as I slammed my car into park at the apex of the large driveway. I had broken so many laws to get here but at this point I didn't give a fuck. My feet pounded on the slate like a sledgehammer, my heels striking vibrations up my legs. I violently threw open the door to the empty house, screaming, "Mckenna!" at the top of my lungs. When I was met with no response, I crossed the marble atrium and mounted the right side of the grand staircase, jogging faster than I should be up the steps, taking two at a time.

I stormed down the left hallway and threw open her bedroom door to find the light to be off and her copy of keys noticeably missing from the glass dish on her white dresser across the room. My hand almost pulled the door off the hinge as I slammed the door shut in the middle of my rage.

I almost broken my neck going down the stairs and out the front door but I didn't give a fuck. Kill me now. Let the cruel world take me. Everything was always my fault. There was always a storm in the sky and it was always raining on me. It was nothing but pain. The person that was supposed to be closest to me didn't give a flying fuck about me. Instead she hung me out to dry like a fool.

She lied to me and fucked my boyfriend. My boyfriend fucked me sister. My best friend lied about it. I only ever trusted a handful of people and most of them just betrayed me. Everyone was a selfish fucking monster and I was alone. My teammates and friends raped me. My sister betrayed me. My boyfriend fucked another bitch behind my back. I caused a boy to kill himself. What the fuck else could I possibly do wrong?

Everything about my life looks fucking perfect but it's not. It's anything but. My parents don't give a fuck about family, only money and travel. I was slut shamed for nothing on a regular basis. The people I risked everything to help wouldn't even lift a finger for me. It was a cruel fucking world and it didn't give a fuck about me or anyone, for that matter.

So let my trip and break my mother fucking neck. It wasn't worth living in this place. I'd go to college and realize all my pain was for nothing or I'd drown in it. If I survived hat I'd just have kids to live in the same sick and cruel cycle. No one was a nice person no matter what you think. Everyone fucks up and that's why I couldn't trust anyone. This world wasn't worth it. I wasn't suicidal or depressed, I was just utterly fucked up. My nihilistic view is what screwed me. The only thing that kept me alive was the fear of dying and nothing else.

I wasn't even special. So many people would experience the same fucking thing and it won't matter because the cycle always continues. No one ever wins. Ever.

That's when my eyes locked on Mckenna in the middle of the driveway in our mother's white Range Rover, climbing out of the drivers seat as a grey McLaren pulled into the driveway with Jason driving and fucking Hunter in the passenger seat. But they weren't watching Mckenna like she was watching them. They were watching me.

With my jaw set, my purposeful strides carried me down the driveway as Kenna shut the door of the car, starting to look over her shoulder to see what Jason was staring at. It was like slow motion that I reached her wrist, yanking her body around before her eyes fully landed on me. Her pregnant stomach was painfully obvious, punching me in the face even more.

I wouldn't beat the shit out of her because I wouldn't hurt an innocent fetus but that didn't stop me from pulling my hand back. And as my flattened palm soared forwards and made contact with the side of Kenna's face, I instantly saw the blossoming red mark as a deafening slap echoed through the air over the sound of another car entering the large half mile driveway in the middle of the open front yard with the woods surrounding it. Still in slow motion, her face whipped to the side as I grabbed the collar of her T-shirt, getting right up in her face as it started to drip blood from my ring making contact with her cheekbone.

"After everything I've fucking done for you!" I screamed at her, the overwhelming urge to kick her taking over even though I knew I couldn't. Tears welling in my eyes as car doors slammed in the background. "You lied to me like I was nothing! My fucking twin slept with my boyfriend and didn't even tell me! You are the mother fucking shittiest and most selfish person I've ever met, Mckenna. Everything is always about you when I'm the one getting shit on! I fucking hope you end up at a dead end job living a miserable life with a shity, cheating husband because that's all you fucking deserve! I put myself at risk for you so many times and not once did you even think about telling me the truth. I honestly hope I never see your face again, Mckenna."

"I didn't mean to," she cried, her hands on my shoulders as I fought to keep her standing, breathing in her taller face. "I was drunk, I'm sorry! Dave wouldn't have sex with me and Luke and I were both tipsy and it just happened. I was too drunk to say I wasn't on birth control anymore and I'm sorry but it happened. He wanted me, Kyra. How was I supposed to reject him when he was interested in me?"

I couldn't control myself anymore. My anger and adrenaline took over as right heel slammed into her foot like I intended to make her bleed as my strong firearms pushed her body back with even more force than I had when I tackled David. Bulging arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my screaming body back as Hunter's quick reflexes easily stabilized Mckenna from my shove.

"By saying fucking 'no'!" I screamed at her. Tears ran down her face three or four feet away from me as I fought Jason's grip on me, wriggling like an infant. "Are you that much of an attention whore that you can't reject a guy that thinks you have nice tits? That's why you didn't want me to fuck Hunter, right? Because you wanted to have him all to yourself so you could rub it in Brittney's face. That's all you give a fuck about anyway; status. What status do you have now, you bitch! The pregnant slut? To think I defended you disgusts me," I continued to screech.

"Get the fuck off of me, Jason, or I won't hesitate to hit you," I growled at him loud enough for everyone to hear, my hands trying to pry his vice grip from my stomach. I watched as Hunter pulled Kenna back lightly, his forearm under her breasts and above her large stomach. It angered me that even now he was on her side. "If you weren't pregnant I would have shattered your pretty nose! I fucking hate you!"

"You ruined my life, Mckenna Klein! I was raped because of you!" My screaming broke into a vulnerable cry as I started to hyperventilate. "And everyone in this town has a video of it in their pocket. Do you know the fucking shame I carry? You've always been the skinny one, the pretty one, the endearing one. I'm the fucking whore and you know what happens when you get knocked up? I only fall further. Your ex did this to me! Your friends did this to me! You make my life fucking miserable!"

It was like every grievance I ever had was bubbling over and spilling all over the floor, burning everyone around me. "I defended you and I was raped because of it. You can't even begin to know what that feels like!" I sobbed, giving up my fight against Jason as his arms relaxed, still trying to support my body as I collapsed to my knees on the rough asphalt.

"I want to punch her, Jason. Let go of me," I weakly attempted to elbow him off of me.

"You're much stronger than her, Kyra. You'll hurt her. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it, but I can't," he whispered back to me quietly. Never in my life did I think Jason Callahan would be the one holding me back from the fight and attempting to comfort me.

"You fucked my boyfriend and lied to me and I'm still the bad guy," I cried, Jason's arms leaving my body as I hunched over and held my hands over my face as my forehead pressed against the ground. "I was gang raped for you and you can't ever do anything to even begin to fix that."

I almost hated her enough to wish it had been her instead of me, but those were words I could never ever take back. And as I crouched over the pavement and sobbed, I knew the hand on my back was no longer Jason's but I didn't have the heart to yell at Hunter again. He was just trying to help me but I didn't want his help.

"Trying to comfort me won't make me want to blow you any more than half an hour ago. Get out of my life, Khan. You made me trust you then you ripped my heart out. You're one of the worst things to ever happen to me. Get away from me and stay away."

And as the tears in my eyes intensified, Hunter still obeyed me. And though I knew there was pain in his eyes and his touch, the desire to comfort me was lower than the need to avoid hurting me any further. At least he still pretended he cared about me to himself.

I hoped they got in a car and drove off a fucking cliff, because I was pretty close to doing the same thing.