Choking on Diamonds

Forty Two

"If I don't pass out on the floor by midnight, do me a favor and just dose me with something strong enough to make me forget my name tomorrow morning."

The words had barely left the Asian basketball player's lips before they were halted by a shot of vodka, which Will threw back like it was water, not even reacting to the alcohol and it's taste. I turned my head to look up at Hunter, his arms around my waist as I sat in front of him on the rocks of the beach. It was a rugged wave break, far out from the shore with the full moon shining on the cool water. Spring air enveloped our bodies, the early hints of summer in the night warmth.

"Second that," Camryn muttered cynically, reaching for the entire bottle of raspberry Smirnoff, not bothering to pry the Absolut bottle from Will's cold dead hands.

"It only goes down hill from here," Syd sing-songed, looking up from the sketch she was drawing in her notebook. Despite Syd being my closest friend for the longest amount of time, it still amazed me how she could go from a hyper mess of a person tome the definition of serenity when she was singing or drawing. I wish I had her level of skill. Sydney blackout drunk had more artistic ability than me on even the best of days. That's what it was like to actually be talented and not just the facet of some machine.

"You've been on a bender for a week, Will. You've missed eleven days of class in the past two months. You're going to lose credit soon, bud," I told him in a worried tone, trying to best not to pass a judgement. Will's outing and his boyfriends death had taken an unimaginable toll on him. Considering his brothers struggles with addiction and both of their abilities to access a plethora of drugs, I was worried. But I couldn't push Will without evidence and I had none.

"Who gives a shit I can still graduate without my last quarters credit," he brushed it off. "Are you okay, Ki? You're usually the first one to throw back a shot."

I pursued my lips in a frown, my body taking a defensive position with my tensed back as I leaned against Hunter. "Bad things seem happen when I drink."

"You do you, Klein. I'm just saying, let me live how I want to."

"We're just worried, Will," Hunter cut in. "That's all. It's nothing more."

"Yeah well, Cam and I are in the middle of a heartbreak so excuse us getting drunk," Will shrugged, tossing back another shot like the small glass would slow him down from chugging the entire bottle in the span of an hour. "So your sister named her kid after you. How are you taking that one?" Will wasn't asking in a malicious way, more of just his usual dry self. I loved him for it; his personality was hard to match.

"Like that child's entire life is a sick and twisted game meant to play with me," I spat with disgust. "Is it sick that I wanted to punch a girl in a hospital bed? In the moment I was calm but as soon as I left that room I was ready to explode. How dare she try to make it up to me and show that she looks up to me when that fucking child is literally a result of her throwing that in my face. She only did that to try and prove that she was the better person. People are fucking selfish."

"I could have told you that before any of this happened," Syd snorted. "That's why I can't wait to get the fuck out of this place. Three more weeks and we are free. Three more weeks and we never have to be part of this eco system of despair ever again. I'm never coming back."

"This place has infected you, Syd," Cam chimed in with my exact thoughts. "Everyone is a reflection of where they came from and we are no different. I'm willing to bet most of us will find our way into the same, if not, a similar world to the one we are in right now."

"I hope Berlin is different. I can't bare to be in another town like this."

"A city is a city, Syd," Hunter replied. "I'll find the poisoned upper class at NYU and you will find them in Berlin. Will and Ki will find them in Yale and Cam will find them at Ithaca. Then we'll all come back for the holidays or summer break and realize that the rest of the world couldn't be more different than Darien. But the reality is that pockets of Darien exist everywhere, and we have been bread to live in them."

"Hunter, you used to be the optimistic one. Then Kyra sucked your dick and all the sudden you're Doctor Doom and Gloom," Syd clicked her tung tauntingly, a smug look on her face before she looked back down at her drawing. "Must be some pretty fucking good head."

"Wow, Syd. Thanks for that. I'll be sure to have Hunter give you the full report next time he gets any action."

"Good, I need some high quality reading material detailing the nitty gritty of how you guys take turns electrocuting and bleeding each other out."

"We aren't that fucked up, God."

"Oh, I know my friends, and you two shits are defiantly not having vanilla sex," Syd laughed.

"Oh come on, I'm not Camryn."

"If I want to twerk on Snapchat then let me baby," Camryn laughed, the alcohol she was chugging already taking effect.

"I'm talking about your body count, Honey."

I casually slipped my phone out of my back pocket, probably looking like I was going to cop a feel of Hunt. I intended to open Cameryn's latest Snapchat as proof, but a single text on my lock screen grabbed my attention. Sent ten minutes ago was the message from the one and only man who could make Cameryn bawl like she was dying. Nate.

I can't keep this secret anymore. I'm turning myself in.

My heart dropped with those simple words. Nathan was going to end up in prison for a dead man who was only a victim of his own addiction. There would be no closure for Cam. Nate was throwing his life away for nothing.

I couldn't help but feel an anger building in my stomach. He was so close. He was going to college. He could have left this god damn place and he just condemned himself to a life of horrors. He threw his life way. And for as much sympathy as I felt, he had done this to himself and I hated him for it. Nathan Carson was a self righteous idiot and he always would be. He was a better person than anyone in this hell forsaken place.

And as I clenched my phone like a vice and looked up at Cameryn's innocent face with the solemn look taken over mine, I knew our friendship would never be the same. I lied to her about the love of her life. Now she would never be with him again.

And with a shakeup exhale as everyone's eyes fixated on me, I forced myself to make eye contact with who would soon be my former best friend.

'Cam, I have something to tell you."

Live a lie and let the vultures in.