Spideypool- Feelings

One Million

Wade rested himself on the couch that belonged to he and the floor of his rusted apartment, lying comfortably on his back.
"Wait, how much?" He asked in disbelief.
The sound of rambling on the other side of the phone line spoke out.
Wade paused in shock by the answer he had received from his device.
"Well shit.." he muttered. "Butter my two ass cheeks and call me a biscuit! You just booked yourself into some of daddy deadpool's gravy!"
He said it, despite the fact that it made zero sense.
Peter suddenly crossed his mind, causing him to smile like a small child that just got kissed for the first time.
That's how he felt, Spidey really stabbed him in the heart.
Not to be dramatic, but to be dramatic.

"What's his reputation?"

"Unsure." the other person spoke.

"Right, right. You expect me to do the research, pussy?"

He hung up, putting the phone down, next to the lamp that was placed on a dresser. He muttered a few swear words to himself.

"Unless absolutely necessary."

[Isn't that against spiderman's will?]

"Psh" Wade scoffed, "of course idiot, but like I said, it's all just a game"

{You never said that}

"Well, I distinctly remember announcing it,"Wade let a smirk fall past his lips. "need I remind you that the two of you are too fucking dolted to understand the concept of living?"

[Fair, but unfair] white admitted in a chill matter. [What game are you planning exactly]

"It's simple, we gather all information on this... guy, gak him, then cover up our ass prints."

[And that's a game?]

{This guy? Why don't you just say his god damn name, we all know it anyway.}

"I am in no need nor want in a reminder that this guy I'm unaliving has the same name as my hero."

{Right. You're trying to win his heart, yet, you're not even on the path of 'unmercenizing' yourself, like you're supposed to, by killing this 'Peter Parker' dude? Hey dumbass, how does that work for you?}

"That's a negative, Albert." Wade exaggerated. "Covering tracks, it'll be a piece of juicy cake."

{Cakes aren't juicy}

"Spidey's cake is."

Yellow sighed theoretically, because who knew if it was even possible? If anyone did, it definitely was not the three morons that were unvoluntarily trapped into one body and one mind. And they most certainly weren't even planning to figure it out either.

{Listen stupid ass, Parker runs a huge company, everyone, and I mean that without exaggeration, everyone is obviously going to know.}

"They might know, but what they don't have to know is that I was the one to do it. And just stop with your lame ass insults, cocksack. You're just a piece of mentality."

{Yeah, the mentality of a little bitch that has no idea what he's doing}

"I know what I'm doing."

{Yeah, I'd like to hear that when your plan has failed. And if Peter figures out? What then?}

"He won't be alive to tell."

{No, fucking dumbass, our Peter}

"Oh"

Silence filled his head, as well as his vocal cords. Clearly he hadn't figured this out, but he convinced himself that he did.

{Well?}

"He won't find out, silly billy."

{What makes you so sure?}

"I can't seem to recall ever once being wrong."

{Thanks for that lie, but if you are though}

"Must I fucking repeat myself again for your dumbass?"

{you know what, no. I'll let you figure this one out on your own. This is an absolutely terrible idea, and when that's proven through failure, I'm gonna say 'I told you so'}

"Bet"

They all fell silent as wade made the decision to plan in his head.
"I'm no hero, they expect so much from me?"
He decided to get up and make his way to his room. Not that it was any better, in fact, it was actually worse. He threw himself onto his matress that made the springs rattle and scream. He looked at the dresser next to the bed before taking the laptop that settled on it into his hands. He slammed it onto his lap dramatically.

"They don't call it laptop for no reason" he said with a little laugh at his horrible joke.
He opened it, making the mouse click chrome twice before going onto Google.

"Let's see who this Peter Parker is.."

Sorry that it was so short! I don't intend to make it longer, but I don't think I can. But I hope it was readable anyway.. Ily 3000! And HUGE thank you to those of you still reading this story! It means so much to me!