The Marauders: Year Seven Part Two

The Open Drawer

"Gods alive, you'll ruin it with all the oil and muck on your unshowered chest, man!" Sirius complained.

Remus had scurried to his feet. "Mr. Filch," he said, attempting to be diplomatic with the caretaker, "It's actually not Sirius's parchment, it's mine, and it's quite important, he was just holding onto it for me and --"

"It insulted me!" he yelled. "Every time I try to figure out what the bleedin' thing is, it insults me! I don't know what sort of despicable thing this is..."

"It's just a silly thing from a joke shop," Remus lied, "That's all. But it's mine and I'm - I need it for... erm... research. I'm doing a paper --"

"LIAR," Mr. Filch shouted. "Oh where is that Bloody Baron now to see why I need a lock on that drawer with little sneak-thieves like the lot of you about - you two and the other ones as well." He flapped his finger at them in accusation.

Sirius said, "Well you haven't got that lock anymore, have you? We'll get the parchment back you old cooter, you haven't got any way to keep us from it now!"

Remus looked at Sirius and sighed. So much for the diplomatic approach.

"You can try but you 'ent going to find it," Mr. Filch hissed, "I'll see to that."

And Sirius would've replied, except there came suddenly a loud hooting shouting from within Filch's office and there was a clatter and a great cacophony of buzzing, squealing, popping, snapping, clapping, clucking, screaming, yodeling, singing, tapping, springing sounds from within, accompanied by the sound of a great many raspberries being blown and a loudly sung, rather explicit song about what Argus Filch could do to the bum of the singer.

"PEEVES!" Filch whirled about to find the poltergeist splashing about in the open drawer and flinging the confiscated gadgets and gizmos about, shouting happily as though he were rolling in the riches of a gold-filled safe. Mrs. Norris had chosen exactly the wrong moment to finish her sardines and come out from the hidden stairwell as a fanged frisbee went flying through the air, snapping onto Mrs. Norris's back end, making her shriek and dart through the door, directly between the legs of Sirius, who bent double to watch her go, the frisbee chomping on her as she streaked down the corridor.

"Oh!" Remus gasped, even as Sirius was cracking up laughing.

Seeing as Filch was busy and knowing they weren't getting the Map back tonight - not now that Filch had shoved it in his shirt as he'd done - Remus grabbed Sirius and nodded for them to go and leave Filch to his suffering at the hands of Peeves and the now effectively booby-trapped office. They headed back down the corridor, Remus feeling rather defeated and Sirius still snickering over what had happened.

"That was brilliant," Sirius said.

"Unsuccessful, though, seeing as we didn't get the Map," Remus commented, sighing.

"Yes, but the look on his bloody face... We'll get it now anyway, won't we? He can't keep it in his bleedin' knickers forever." 

"He best not put it in his knickers," Remus groaned, "Don't know if I'd want it back if he put it there."

Sirius laughed loudly, and slapped the back of Remus in his mirth, "Bloody hell, I fucking love you Moony."

"The poor cat, though." Remus muttered.

"Poor cat my arse," Sirius said, through his near-to-tears laughter, "How many times has that old shoe brush gotten us in trouble?"

"I mean, sure, but that frisbee could really do some damage and --"

"It's a fucking frisbee! She'll survive!" Sirius guffawed.

They'd come to the tapestry that covered the secret passageway up to the Trophy Room and Sirius looked about then opened it up for Remus to go in and, wands lit, they started the ascent.

"I think the biggest question," Remus said, jumping over the first of the abysses, "Is how the hell we really are going to figure out where Peter's been hiding without the Map. I mean, that's what started all of this... I know he's coming back at night and everything, but I don't like that he's disappearing during the day the way he is. It isn't good."

Sirius was quiet for once in his life. He simply shrugged and jumped across the abyss as well. They were coming up the stairs now, Remus holding his lit wand aloft, "I mean, I know it's terrible to think on but he is still under You Know Who's control and everything. We don't know what he's doing during the day, it could be anything..."

They had come upon the alcove and Sirius stuck his head in, looking about, wand lighting up the photos on the walls and the couch. "Looks like he was here at some point," he said, nodding to the plate with the sandwich and the pile of photos that Peter had set aside on the floor. 

Remus sighed.

"Ain't here now," Sirius added, and he drew back out of the alcove. "The little rat could be anywhere."

They continued on up the passageway, neither one of them noticing the little rat, pressed to the wall in the darkest shadow he could find, trembling as he watched them pass.