Distrust//Kyle Kuzma

F O U R T Y S E V E N

*February 14 (Valentine's Day)*

Play song whenever you want

Alivia's POV

I've been a resident at the hospital for about a month now. All of the nurses and doctors in the cancer wing know me. Unfortunately they know me as the patient with the most aggressive case of cancer. I've had up days and down days. Most of my down days consist of being so weak to the point that I can barely walk. The doctors told me that would happen as my cancer worsens. My cancer effects the part of my brain that controls movement, so the tumor slowly restricts movement as it grows. I've become so weak, and I've lost a lot of muscle mass. My body has a discolored look to it. My hair has thinned out so much to the point where I only wear it up. I absolutely hate the way that I look, but it's better than being dead, I guess. Kyle, Mili, and, Zo have been spending so much time with me. I enjoy them being with me, but at the same time I feel bad that they have spent so much of their time in the hospital. I feel like my diagnosis has affected them all in different ways. Zo has become more comical, if that is possible. He tries to make us laugh as much as possible. He seizes every opportunity to mess with us or make a corny dad joke. He tries to hide the fact that he's upset by making us and himself laugh. Mili has become very mom like. She's constantly trying to make sure that I do everything that my doctors tell me to. She tries to make sure that I do the right things during chemo and during my tests. She's doing everything in her power to make sure that I stay alive. Kyle has become more loving, if that is even possible as well. He's constantly kissing me and telling me that he's here for me. When he's with me he takes everything opportunity to cuddle, hold, or kiss me. When he's not around we FaceTime for hours and he constantly makes sure that I'm ok and tells me how much he misses me. He's trying to make every second with me memorable and worth it. I think he fears that he'll wake up one day and I'll not be there. It kills me to know that I'm hurting the people who care about me the most. I hate that I'm making them miserable. They say that they're ok, but I know that they're not. I feel so guilty. I've written the letters. Yes, I took my nurse's advice to write some crazy letters. There's 8 of them. One for my funeral, one to cancer, and 6 to the people that mean the most to me. It was actually very freeing to let out all of my feelings. It made me feel normal for once, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry while writing them.

"Hey Ma, I'm going to go home and get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." Mili said as she touched my shoulder.

"Ok. Thanks for staying with me." I smiled as I leaned up, struggling to hug her.

"You're welcome. Don't forget to eat something light tonight. Make sure it's light you don't want to make yourself nauseous." There's the mother in her.

"Mil, I got this I've been doing this whole chemo thing for a while." I chuckled at her.

"I know, I know. I just worry about you." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." I smiled as we did our handshake.

"Bye asshat." Zo chuckled lightly.

"Bye asshole." I laughed as we hugged. 

"We'll see you guys in the morning." Mili said before her and Zo walked out of my room.

"And then there was two." I laughed as I looked at Kyle.

"True." He smiled as he scooted his chair closer to my bed.

"You wanna come sit up here with me?" I asked as I slowly grabbed his hand.

"Sure." He smiled as he stood up.

"I have to use the bathroom first." I said as I struggled to get up.

"Here, let me help you." He tried to grab me, but I stopped him.