The Demons In Love || Crowley x Aziraphale

Chapter Four - Open The God Damn Door

Back in ~Crowley's POV~
(🚫TW: Self Harm🚫)

I paced around my flat. I felt miserable. I sat down on my dark couch and layed there a while. I snapped my fingers and music began to blast pretty loudly. I was playing Queen. Freddie would never hurt me... And I can never hurt Freddie. Not anymore at least. It's a little to late. As Queen Halsted I focused on the sound of Freddie's voice, and on Occasion Roger's voice. I did enjoy the falsettos Roger Taylor did. As the assortment of Queen songs was playing, being loud and out there, a much... Softer one began to play. There was no guitar from Brian. No bass from John. No drums or falsettos from Roger. Just Freddie and a piano. At least the version where it is just him and a piano.

It was none other than Love Of My Life.

Love of my life, you've hurt me
You've broken my heart and now you leave me
Love of my life can't you see
Bring it back,
Bring it back,
Don't take it away from me,

"Because you don't know.... What it means to me. Love of my life. Don't leave me. You've taken my love and now desert me. Love of my life, can't you see....?" I sang softly to the song that was blasting like all the others. I snapped my fingers to make this song loop. I felt tears burning my eyes. Fuck these god damn feelings. The emotions built up before I got up and yelled, making everything around me move back. My body felt limp but I stayed up, at least a bit. My phone rang and I let it go to voicemail. Like always. It rang until I heard the beep.

"Crowley? You have to answer your phone, I... I demand it..right now... Please.." It was Aziraphale. That damned foolish angel... He kept calling. He sounded worse and worse on the phone. I couldn't take it and I just got filled with anger and sadness. He rejected me and then I.. Well I scared him off. Because I am a filthy horrible demon.

"Listen here, Aziraphale. Stop fucking calling me. Stop talking just leave me alone or you will fucking regret it. Got it? Good." My throat felt dry, I slammed the phone down. Not good enough. I picked the whole thing up and threw it at the wall. I yelled again, kicking stuff over. I sat in my chair, slumped over.

I lightly rolled up my sleeve. My arm was covered in terrible looking burns. I used my free hand to grab the spray bottle that used to be for my plants. The nozzle setting was on mist. I didn't need it for long distance. The bottle was filled with a horrible contents, I couldn't even stand the smell of it. I pulled the little trigger back and a small mist sprayed over my arm. I dropped the bottle and fell forwards in absolute agony. I screamed and felt more tears in my eyes. This way the only chance I possibly had at getting those feelings from 6000 years to just go away. This is at least how angsty teen girls did it online. Somehow it had to work. I was picking up the bottle again but I heard a knock on my door. I tried to ignore it. It kept going and going and going. Through a fit of anger I threw the bottle at my wall, spilling the holy water everywhere. "Fuck." That was all I had. Time to get more creative.

The knocking got louder and louder. It was well over the volume of the music I was trying to play, although because of my emotions it had slightly broke.

"Crowley. It's Aziraphale. Don't you dare ignore me. Not now... Please just... For the love if god- someone. For the love of someone.. Open the god damn door!"