Joshler Because I'm: Soft

Part 9

(Tyler's POV)

After a while, I was finally ready to talk again, but I kept the same position.

"Thank you.. Joshy...." I mumbled into his shoulder, slightly snuggling into the warm hug. Støp, Tyler. Døn't be weird. He's yøur friend.

"Of course, Tyler. I'm always one text or call away anytime you need me. I'm so thankful you texted me about this, Ty. I don't know what I would've done if something had happened...." Josh slightly tightened the hug and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I worried you.... I just- I didn't trust myself...." I spoke quietly, a little ashamed at myself.

This isn't a nørmal thing tø feel, Tyler. It's weird that yøu feel like this. It's nøt nørmal. Blurryface started getting to me again, and I started breathing slightly faster, becoming upset once more. Thankfully, Josh noticed that right when it started.

          "Hey, hey, it's okay, Tyler. It's okay. I'm glad you told me, and I'm glad I can help. And that's okay, we'll get better at that." Josh rubbed his thumb across my shoulder while hugging me and lightly rocked us back and forth.

          "Thank you.... y-you definitely are helping.... B-but what do you mean we?" I questioned curiously and softly, thinking the answer in my mind was way too good to be true. Josh suddenly pulled his head away and grabbed my hands, looking at me.

          "I mean we because I'm gonna be here with you to help you get through this. I'm definitely never leaving. And I won't stop until I see a permanent smile on that cute lil face of yours." Josh booped my nose and winked, making me blush a little and smile shyly.

          "Thank you, Joshy.... This means so much more to me than you could ever imagine...." I looked down and fiddled with my hands, messing with the rim of my shirt.

          "Or course, Tyler. You mean more to me than you could imagine." Josh's smile was apparent even in the darkness, and it was very contagious. I smiled back and hugged him again.

          "Well somebody loves hugs, huh? That, or you're just cold. Considering that it's probably around 3am and the window's still open, I say it was the latter." Josh chuckled at his own joke, and I laughed a little as well.

          "For your information, it was all of the above. But I am very fond of your hugs." I laughed and hugged him tighter for a moment before letting go and facing him again.

          "Aww, that makes me happy. I'm fond of your hugs too, so have as many as you'd like. Also, you should've told me you were cold!" Josh took his sweatshirt off as he spoke, rapping it around me.

          "Oh.... Uh, thank you." I chuckled nervously, sliding my hands through the sleeves. Both of us laughed at how large the jacket was on me. "And I'm glad you like my hugs too, so I can get as many wonderful hugs as I need. Which, by the way, you give amazing hugs. Any other hugs I've gotten either felt uncomfortable or fake. But yours.... they make me happy." I smiled and fumbled with the extra long sleeves as Josh grinned at me.

          "Awh, I'm glad." Josh was practically glowing in the darkness, and just the sight of him made me feel so internally happy.

"Thank you, Josh." I quickly hugged him again and smiled a real smile.

"You're welcome, Tyler." He hugged back and pulled away once he saw that I did as well. I yawned as I did so, covering my mouth. "I just remembered it's 3am and we have school tomorrow. We should probably get some sleep." Josh reasoned as he sounded a little disappointed again.

"Wait. Do, uh.... do you have to leave...?" I mumbled the question under my breath, feeling a little embarrassed over how much I wanted Josh to stay. Tyler, why wøuld yøu ask that? That's such a weird thing to say. Øf cøurse he has tø gø, he has better things tø dø then- "Stop!" I shouted, suddenly covering my ears.

"I'm sorry.... Did I say something? I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have, I-" Josh started rambling nervously, and I felt really guilty for making him think he did something wrong.

"No, just-...." I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. "It's Blurryface." I sighed and looked down, messing with the sleeves of the oversized sweater. "He's the voice in my head...." I mumbled, frowning at the thought of his words.

"Oh, Tyler. He's not real. You don't have to listen to him. He just says things to make you feel bad and give you anxiety, he's not real." Josh placed a hand on my shoulder while talking, looking down. "I have a Blurryface too, you know. I know what it's like. It's tough, but you really just gotta tell yourself that he's not real and that you shouldn't listen to him." Josh spoke softly, seemingly speaking every word with truth.

"You have a Blurryface...?" I stared at Josh, wide eyed, not believing it. Josh is the sweetest and most perfect person I know, how could he have a Blurryface?

"Of course. Do you know how nervous I was to invite you over to my house? Or when I stood up for you the first time? Or when you started texting me at 2am asking for help? I was terrified, and Blurryface told me not to do certain things or to stop doing something, and he even told me that you didn't like nor cared about me. Obviously that's hard to listen to all day, but I've learned to tune him out and do what I personally think is right. I mean, I couldn't not stand up for you this morning, and if I listened to him, we might not've even met." Josh ran a hand through his hair and looked over at me. We wouldn't have met if Josh didn't stand up to his Blurryface.

          Without saying anything, I just leaned towards him and softly wrapped my arms around him.

          "Aw, Tyler." Josh chuckled as he hugged me back.

          "I'm sorry you have to deal with a Blurryface too, I know it's hard to handle sometimes. But thank you for coming over here and helping me." I mumbled gently, my face buried in Josh's neck.

          "Ah, it's okay. Nothing I can't handle." Josh smiled and spoke quite confidently, but suddenly softened the hug and pulled away. He grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes gently. "But I'm sorry that you've been through everything you have. Nobody deserves that.... especially you. But we'll make it through your troubles. And I'm always happy to help with anything." Josh smiled and hugged me again, making me slightly giggle.

          "Thank you. But I think now we really should get some sleep. It's literally after 3am and we're probably going to end up sleeping through half of our classes anyway." I joked lightly, making Josh chuckle.

          "Alright, you goof." Josh patted my head and messed up my hair before getting up. "So do you have any extra blankets and pillows, or...." A grin slowly started to grow on my face as I stood up as well.

          "Wait. You're staying!?" I probably shouted way too loudly for being awake at 3am. But I couldn't help myself, I was glad he was staying.

          "Shhh, yes, of course!" Josh quieted his voice, but still spoke louder than one should at this time.

          I smiled widely and ran and got extra blankets and pillows, giving them to Josh. He set up a little sleeping area for himself on the floor next to my bed. I would've offered to let him sleep in my bed with me, but I didn't even need Blurryface to tell me how gay that is. I also kind of wanted to sleep next to Josh because after breakdowns I'm usually very affectionate. Sadly, I decided that was a no, too, so I just laid on the edge of my bed so I was as close to Josh as I could be.

          "Goodnighty Ty." Josh smiled at me and touched my arm for a moment.

          "Nighty Joshy." I giggled and pulled my blanket up over myself as I quickly fell asleep.