Joshler Because I'm: Soft

Part 4

"Well, actually, it was kinda both-"

"Oh my jOSH-" I accidentally said out loud. Tyler, calm thyself. I know he has the cutest voice and, in general, is very cute, but you need to CHILL with the fanboying.

He smiled and tilted his head down, trying not to laugh while slightly blushing. He quickly looked back up at me with a confused face.

"Oh, sorry, uh.... I didn't mean to say that out loud." I smiled awkwardly as I scratched the back of my neck. Josh jokingly rolled his eyes at me, still keeping that huge grin on his face. "Continue." I replied, trying not to let the embarrassment of the moment take over me.

"Alright, so actually it was kind of both reasons. Because I remember you said you were quiet and emo, and when I saw you this morning outside, I kinda connected the dots. When I actually saw someone hurting you, I was seriously about to throw fists, but I decided just saying something was probably better. At the time, I didn't know for sure if it was you, but I kinda figured. And again, I'm really sorry about all that happening...." Josh explained, connecting the dots in my head.

No wonder he was looking at me like that this morning.

I silently just leaned towards Josh and held out my arms, hugging him again. He chuckled a bit and hugged me back. I felt tears pricking at my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"Thank you.... Nobody's ever.... Nobody's ever stood up for me before...." I whispered out, clinging to Josh. "Thank you."

"Of course, Ty!" Josh cheerily announced. The use of my nickname in person made me blush a bit. "What kind of fren would I be if I didn't help you out when you needed it?" Josh exclaimed, pulling me away to look at me.

"Wait, we're.... Are we friends!?" I questioned excitedly, beaming up at Josh. He grinned and me, soon turning it into a smile as he held out his arms for yet another hug, which I kindly accepted.

"Actually, no. We're frens." Josh chuckled again, winking at me while making me laugh.

"I've seriously never had a fren before. I'm so happy." I practically squealed while hugging Josh. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, giggling as his tongue partially stuck out.

"What's up, faggots?"

          Oh no. I quickly let go of Josh and looked down. I heard him growl under his breath as he stood up to face Lucas.

          "You're one to talk." Josh replied confidently.

          "Oh yeah? Well I'm not the one trying to stand up for his pathetic boyfriend." Lucas spat back, stepping closer to Josh.

          I already felt my heart pounding and racing at the same time. What's Josh doing?? He's going to get himself killed!

          "Yeah, you're not doing it because you wouldn't have the balls to do it." Josh growled, stepping face-to-face with Lucas.

          Oh no.

          "Oh you're really asking for it, huh?" Lucas muttered, cocking his fist back.

          As his fist was flying towards Josh, I quickly threw myself off of the ground to block him from the impact. I was immediately struck on my forehead (because Josh was taller than me). The initial blow knocked me back into Josh, who looked at me with an extremely worried and shocked expression. He then turned his sight to Lucas, and Josh was mad. Thankfully, my friend caught me and stood me up, my anxiety and rapid breathing making me slightly dizzy.

          "What the hell did you just do-" Josh started in an angry tone while glaring at Lucas, but was soon cut off.

          "Awww look! Flower boy wants to be a part of this, too!" Lucas scoffed, throwing another punch towards me.

          I was about to just stand there and try to take the punch since I was about to have an anxiety attack anyway, but Josh quickly pulled me to the side, having us both dodge the blow. After that, he grabbed my hand and ran me out of the cafeteria and down some halls. We soon
made it to a single-stalled bathroom, where Josh lead me inside with him, and shut and locked the door.

          The minute that door shut, my anxiety attack started. I felt like I wasn't breathing, which quickly made me start hyperventilating. My hands were shaking immensely and I could barely see due to the dizziness I was having.

          The dizziness I was experiencing suddenly caused me to get a wave of nausea, and I started stumbling. Thankfully, Josh caught me and sat me down, setting me in front of him. I didn't know what was going on, and suddenly seeing someone in front of me made me start to take quick, sharp inhales.

          "Tyler. Tyler, it's me, Josh. It's okay. You're having a panic attack, Tyler, it's gonna be okay." Josh slowly inched towards me, holding out his hand. "Can you take my hand?" He spoke softly, as to not make me panic more.

          I shakily nodded and held out my shaky hand. He took it and sat behind me, pressing my head against his chest. The sudden movement and lack of free space made me more anxious and I felt like I couldn't breathe again.

          "Shh Tyler, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. But I need you to close your eyes for me. Can you do that?" Josh asked me, to which I replied by shakily nodding my head and shutting my eyes. It's okay. Josh won't hurt me. "Okay, good. Now I want you to try and match my breathing patterns, okay? Just try to listen to my breathing and match it." Josh spoke gently, having me slow my breathing.

          After about 10 minutes, my breathing had calmed. Once my panic attack passed, Josh turned his attention to the cut on my forehead from the punch. Apparently that jerk was wearing a ring, so I had a nice slice running across my eyebrow. Josh cleaned it the best he could and took a bandaid out of his bag, which he thankfully had enough time to grab before running off to the bathroom, putting it on my cut.

Now that everything was taken care of, I literally just sat down on my knees and started crying. For me, that day was emotionally exhausting: I got beat up twice, I met Josh, he actually stood up for me before I knew who he was, I had a panic attack, I hugged Josh like 7 times already, etc. And now that everything was quieted down, I just cried. Yes, I felt pathetic, and yes, I felt like Josh would get annoyed at me for being as emotional as I was, but that didn't stop the tears from spilling out of my eyes. I pulled my knees up close to my chest and buried my face in them.

After a minute, I suddenly felt a warmness make it's way around me. It made me feel calm, and like everything was going to be okay. I slightly lifted my head up and saw Josh hugging me. I quickly wrapped my arms around his shoulders, feeling safe with my new fren.

"Thank you, Josh...." I whispered into his shoulder, which muffled my voice.

"Don't mention it, Ty." Josh replied sweetly, getting in a more comfortable position while still hugging me.

"Okay, thank you.... But I-I'm confused about one thing...." I mumbled, so Josh pulled away to look at me. I will admit, I was kinda sad, but it was probably apparent because Josh then took my hand. "Why-why are you being so nice to me? It's just that.... we-we only just met and you've already done so much for me...." I spoke gently, wiping tears off of my eyes and sniffing quietly.

"Because you deserve it. You deserve to be treated so much better than I've seen today, and I'm trying to give that to you. And you took a punch for me at lunch today, which I wish you didn't, but I know it was because you didn't want me to get hit. But the point is, you are an amazing person, and if other kids at this school don't see that, then screw them. But I see it. And I know you're fantastic. And I want you to feel cared for." Josh spoke confidently, looking into my eyes the whole time, not breaking eye-contact for a second, which proved he wasn't lying.

I leaned forward and hugged Josh again, burying my face in his shoulder. "Thank you." I whispered tearily. He gently rubbed his hand up and down my back, holding me close.

"You're welcome." He smiled, resting his chin on my shoulder.