I can help you if you want it

17

I sigh the memory fading away once I hear the familiar ring of my phone. I answer it seeing it's Joe.

" Hey you ok? " Joe's voice ask. I hear Jon in the background asking why'd Joe ask that.
" Yeah I'm ok why? " I ask trying my best to make my voice not shaky from all my crying. " Because I called you like fifteen minutes ago and you didn't answer " he says worry on his voice. I bite my lip thinking of an excuse good enough. " Yeah sorry I was in the shower " I lie.

" Ok well we'll be another hour we're going to get food " he tells me. I take a deep breath not thinking I can go another hour without him. " Ok I'm going to take a nap I have a headache " I lie once again. He says ok and we hang up. I look back down at the pictures.

I take deep breaths and knock on Didi's door. She answers the door seconds later with a smile. " Hey bro " she greets. I smile and she opens the door all the way letting me in. She closes the door and sits on her bed. " What's up? " she ask me laying on her teddy bear that's life sized. Like it's fucking huge. She named it Tommy. I got her it for her birthday last month. She absolutely loves it. " I'm gay " I blurt out. I quickly cover my mouth that not wanting to be how I said it. She tilts her head sideways looking at me. After a few seconds she realizes I'm serious. " Ok. Ok that's ok " she smiles. I let out a breath of relief. " Thank you for telling me. I'm happy you trust me " she says to me. " Now let's watch your boyfriend " she says patting the bed wanting me to sit. I laugh and sit down and she turns on WWE.

" Didi? " I ask looking in the living room. I got a call from her but I didn't answer it because I was with a wrestler that has a training company. I was talking to him about finally starting my training company. That's right I'm finally going to start black and brave. Once I check every room besides hers I knock on her door. When I don't get an answer I knock louder this time. She's usually never asleep at eight pm. I get no answer again so I go to open her door but it's locked. Huh she never locks her door. Maybe she has a boy in there. I don't know I don't think she'd do that. I grab a penny from the kitchen table and unlock her door then put the penny back. I open her door confused to see her not there. I look at a red spot on her sheets. Her period must of came right? I tilt my head in confusion seeing a note on her pillow. I grab it quickly.

Hey whoever's reading this,
I'm sorry but I won't be here anymore. I can't do this. It's stupid. Living is stupid. I feel like I have no one. Like nobody cares for me. And I've been feeling this way for a while now and I cant take it anymore. I cant take the fact that I'm so broken. Im broken beyond repair. Auntie if you are reading this I love you and thank you so much for letting me live with you ever since diapers. I know I was a handful but you no longer will have to worry about me. Uncle P, I know you aren't blood related but you still are family and I want you to know I love you too. You were also there for me. It may not of been since diapers but it's been a while. Thank you for letting me live in your household. I'll be out of your way now. and Renee. My best friend. You are the best you cunt. I love you so fucking much and I'm going to miss you but know this is what's best. Take care of Colby please. And lastly big bro I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I love you so much. And I know you're the one most likely to find this. You probably have big exiting news. Or you just want brownies. You can have all the brownies you want now my friend. Thank you for being the best big bro anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for telling me all your secrets. Thank you for the amazing memories. I love you and keep reaching for your dreams. I know you'll achieve them champ.
Sincerely, DiDi

I drop the note fast and run into her bathroom. I scream at the horrifying sight. She's laying on the floor covered in her blood. Her blood that she sliced from her wrist. There's three bottles of empty pills next to her. I take out my phone dialing 911 even though I know it's to late.