An Inconvenient Attachment

Chapter Sixty

"So, Ms. Blythe, what message do you hope to convey with your stories?" said by yet another employer, the fifth one she'd seen that week. 

The first four times she was asked she had no idea what to say. She never even thought to prepare herself after being asked it the first time and continuously sat there, eyes glassed over and mind completely blank. 

After settling down into their home, things with her and Jason were going better than ever before. They cooked together, went to the store together, did yard work together, swam in their own pool together, slept in the same bed together; they were so madly and deeply in love at this point that it no longer frightened Beth, nothing did anymore.

She had decided, after spending a week renovating the house and getting it set up just how they wanted it, she decided to do some job searching, applying to magazine companies and editorial companies and, eventually, found herself presenting some of her own writing, novels and such she told no one about and never spoke of, to publishing companies.

And there she sat, in the fifth publishing company, in front of the fifth publisher, being posed the same question, for the fifth time. Once she was asked it the first four times she thought about it constantly, to the point in which it made her question her own novels and the condition they were in now. She even found herself going back and reading through and editing and thinking rather deeply.

Taking a deep breath, Beth took a moment to collect her thoughts calmly and she spoke, allowing her mind and heart to run free. "The message I want to convey is that love is...universal," she spoke, choosing her words wisely. She paused, staring intently at the employer before her who seemed to lean back, ushering her on. "Love is not always perfect, everyone's opinions and visions on love are infinitely different and yet so incredibly unique. I want people to know that no matter who you are, what you do, whether you're a boy or girl, transgender or homosexual; you deserve love."

Beth sat there and thought of Erica and Laura, smiling softly at the memory of their cute little girl they had. Even they were so madly and deeply in love, two women from different backgrounds and they loved each other and had a kid together and stood together no matter how many tries it took.

She thought of Miranda and her struggles with love. Not so much love with another but love for herself. She deemed herself so perfect she never truly thought if being perfect was what she wanted or deserved. She was force-fed the idea that a beautiful, slim receptionist should be with an extremely successful man and that wasn't and shouldn't be the case.

Beth thought of her parents, her sister and her brother-in-law, Jason's parents, she thought of her and Jason and she smiled yet again. "I want people to know that you don't have to have a slim body to get the man of your dreams, you don't have to have a slim body in order to love, you don't have to be perfect in order to love. I want them to truly understand that love comes in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders, sexuality; whatever it may be."

Beth stared down at her hand, specifically her left hand where a perfect diamond ring sat on her ring finger. She smiled so brightly her cheeks hurt. She remembered the day vividly, when he proposed. It was the last day working on the house and they had finished later in the afternoon and were completely tired but he was adamant on cooking dinner and not ordering take-out, like they had been doing that entire week. 

Not seeing the point in putting up a fight, she allowed him to cook until his heart gave out while she just sat and watched him, watched him read the many cookbooks carefully, measuring each item with such caution, taste-testing everything to make sure it tasted perfect for that night. 

They ate, they laughed, they joked and threw food at each other at some point, and they were drunk on their own love and on the red-wine they had drank. At some point, he dropped his fork and dropped to the floor like a goofball and crawled close to her, holding his fork up in front of her.  "Look what I got," he said and she had looked closer, seeing the ring placed on the fork and him already on one knee. She gasped so loudly and scooted back in her chair so suddenly, her hands covering her mouth almost instantly.

The biggest smile had stretched on his face and big crocodile tears ran down her cheeks and all she did was nod and that was enough for them. She watched as he had placed the ring on her finger, his smile so big, so true, so genuine, so real.

"I want people to realize too that for some, when it comes to love--whether it be loving yourself or another--learning to trust others and yourself is a struggle in itself. It's hard to believe you're beautiful or smart or skinny or strong, it's hard to force yourself quiet, to keep your deepest and most severe fears at bay, to keep what you're most self-conscious about silenced. I want people to know it's okay to slip up, okay to feel bad, to be upset, to cry, to laugh, to scream, to yell; it's alright to fall apart but staying down isn't alright," she continued. "Picking yourself up or having someone there to help you get yourself up is where love comes, loving yourself, loving someone else."

Beth smiled, fighting her tears of joy. After he had proposed to her that night she finally found herself comfortably enough to be with him, completely and entirely. They had gone to bed that night and he had shown her just how beautiful she was, made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

"I want them to know that loving yourself isn't always a task done by yourself, having those people in your life that can help give you the strength you need is just as helpful as yourself. I want people to know that they all deserve love, they deserve to feel emotions, and I want them to know it's okay to get down but getting back up is where you'll succeed and sometimes, taking risks is what you have to do," Beth finished, incredibly proud of herself.

The woman before her nodded happily, smiling her own smile. "How soon can you finish your first book?"

That was all it took. Beth had finished that interview with a job and a publishing opportunity and had finished feeling better than ever before. Like a breath of fresh air, she didn't know she deserved such love and care, didn't know if she deserved to feel this happy but she did and she didn't feel guilty about it for one second.

Because--after all--big women deserve love just as much as anyone else.

This is the final chapter. It ends here, but loving yourself and deserving love and loving anyone else doesn't end here. I hope with this you understand that even bigger women get so angry and make-fun of skinnier women, that skinnier women make-fun of bigger women sometimes, that any woman can project their deepest scars and what their self-conscious about mindlessly and it's alright.

There's nothing to be ashamed about.

I apologize if slimmer women out there got offended with some remarks but this right here are people. People get angry and they explode and they say things they don't mean, they spew unnecessary information, they do some damage that cannot be undone. 

Miranda eventually finds a very charming and nerdy accountant who treats her truly like a lady, Eric and Laura had a daughter and they named her Cecile--after Laura's deceased grandmother--and Elizabeth and Jason had a wedding so big and they continued to love each other to death.

Whether you are small, big, skinny, fat, gay, bisexual, transgender, religious, athletic, whatever it may be, you all deserve love.

Best wishes,

D. M. Brightwell