An Inconvenient Attachment

Chapter Seventeen

"He really hasn't made a move already?" my mom gasped over the phone, pestering me once again about Jason after the anniversary party. "Even after all I told him, nope. I don't like him."

I chuckled lightly, chopping ingredients for my spaghetti. "Why should he make a move, exactly?"

"Because I told him how sensitive you are," she said, sighing.

"So you think that having him ask me out out of pity is any better, mom? Seriously, don't pester," I snapped. "It's not your concern and he's my boss. Not to mention I am clearly, one-hundred percent not his type and you know that."

"Oh, please. A mother always knows," she said.

"Yeah, a mother knows how to degrade their children and how to pretend like they care," I shot back, the other side going dead silent. 

"Beth--"

"No, sorry mom, but I will not talk about this anymore with you."

I hung up immediately, tossing my phone aside and angrily chopping away. My mother--my parents, to be exact--had always been hard on me. All my life. My sister could hardly catch any of my parents' criticism but I, on the other hand, seemed to get her helping and my own. It felt like every single thing I did in my life was judged by them. I valued the moments when they actually expressed their pride in me, when they expressed their happiness in my hard work; but that was scarce.

My mother had always been a gal with low self-esteem, she tried hard to avoid passing it to her girls, knowing just how destructive it could be to someone. However, it left a huge impact on me. When my sister had first moved out and it was me and my parents at home, it was as if everything came crashing down on me. I never realized how much I missed my sister, who was my best friend and still is, until she left. 

My parents always cooked three square meals a day and I ate each meal, feeling guilty if I didn't finish my food. I don't blame them or resent them for anything, sure, I've had plenty of days where I was beyond pissed off with them and I had plenty of nights when I cried myself to sleep because of their comments but I didn't hate them and I never could.

I knew my mothers pestering wasn't meant to be harmful but all it did was hurt me. She was only kidding me. I knew that gorgeous men like Jason would never glance twice at me. Jason was like the overly-fit men you'd see at the gym, you'd see them, imagine yourself with them and then instantly realize they'd never notice you, at all. I was big, I didn't deserve a guy as fit as Mr. Abilon, and, frankly, I really didn't want a man.

You lie.

Here I go again, kidding myself. Even after all that happened with Nathan, I should despise men, right? I mean, any man has the capability to hit a woman and that's fact but how could you pick the good ones out of the sea of men? Believe me, the idea of being in a very stable and loving relationship was like a dream but I only seemed to attract the assholes. What kept me from jumping to a new guy was just the mere fear of another relationship like with Nathan. Call me paranoid, but, the amount of pain and hardships I went through that relationship would easily turn any woman to celibacy, if extreme enough.

I hummed softly, moving my hips lightly to the music I played as I cooked my dinner. I quit my millionth diet, preferring to enjoy life to it's fullest. Eating delicious foods sounding much better than a life of bland chicken breast and plain salad. My motto is eat what you want with a decent amount of activity in a day and I do plenty in my day to keep the calories from stacking up too high. 

I may feel good now but I always knew the darkness in my mind would crash upon me at any moment and it always did. Low self-esteem was a nasty bitch that spoke nothing but horrid words in your head, managing to bring yourself down further than before.

Believe what you will, but I did imagine what it'd be like being with a hunk like Mr. Abilon when I first laid eyes on him. The fantasy was short lived, of course, when he made the first comment about my cardigan. But, I had somehow managed to get my hopes up with just a stupid little fantasy. As if a man as handsome as himself would bow to my feet and treat me like the queen I am.

If I ever found a man like that I'd shit myself.

A loud knock came from my front door, almost causing me to chop my finger right off. I sighed heavily, setting the knife down and turning my music off as I shuffled to the door. I swung the door open, ready to give an earful to whoever was interrupting my cooking time.

However, my throat closed at the sight before me. Jason sat there, wearing basketball shorts that hung low on his waist, his torso bare but covered in welts, as if he'd been whipped by a belt. He was on his knees, on my porch, shivering furiously in the cold breeze. His dark hair was messy, drenched in sweat, falling over his forehead. He looked up at me, his green eyes holding nothing but agonizing pain.

How coincidental that I just admitted I wanted a man to kneel to me and here Jason was, doing, almost, just that. I knelt down quickly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "My God, Jason, are you okay?" I asked, blinking quickly at him.

He looked as if on the brink of tears but he chuckled lightly, shaking his head then dropping it. "Sorry to bother you," he said quietly. "Would you mind if I stayed here for tonight?"

I didn't answer, I simply moved around him, helping him up and leading him inside. "Jesus, Jason, you're bleeding," I said quickly, seeing that some of the marks had broken the skin, bleeding lightly. "What happened?"

He said nothing, the expression on his face forcing me to keep my mouth shut about it. "Come on, you need to get cleaned up first before I can help you," I told him, ushering him into the guest bathroom, turning the shower on warm.

I turned to face him. I couldn't believe the man before me was my scary-ass boss; he looked so vulnerable before me. I did notice one thing, however, his face was left untouched, the marks were purposefully placed on parts of his body that could be covered by his everyday attire, whoever did this, knew what they were doing. 

"Take a shower, Jason," I told him, placing a soft hand on his arm. "Take as much time as you need." He looked up at me and I felt as if I was going to be torn in two, he looked broken and completely lost. I smiled softly, setting a towel on the counter for him. I exited the bathroom, shutting it behind me.

I moved back to the kitchen, standing frozen for a second.

Who the hell would do something so cruel?