The Vibe Manager

Chapter 32

After Jade's Mexican fantasia, I was serene. More than that, I was His Serene Highness of Tête-à-Tête — an enchanted kingdom where lost lovers were reunited at "a quiet restaurant somewhere," and everyone was sprung from their cages to enjoy a happily ever after.

It wasn't easy to maintain my cover and drive Jade into Rafael's arms. I'd even had to cough up a few hundred dollars to pay the staff the nature reserve in Tulum just to call every single dolphin in the sea Rafael for a few days, in case Jade followed my tip and showed up.

But when her reply from Mexico hit my fake Nina email account, agreeing to meet Rafael, I knew the investment had paid off. I smiled in secret triumph. How many partners were that caring or thoughtful? So much of my generosity was known only to the wind...

It was particularly tough to ignore her when she'd asked for my advice about the stalemate with her corporate bosses. It was a shame I couldn't tell her it was all a ruse. But I only had to hold the line a few more days — until ma' dog Raf swooped in with his net to boat the bass.

There was no doubt: I'd surpassed Madre in matchmaking virtuosity. I was the next wave — the maestro of meet-ups. And the prelude to my latest symphony was already underway.

The Flying Monkey had landed safely. I knew this because Rafael was stalking me on his cell. The first time he texted, the only reason appeared to be to announce his arrival at JFK. 

Dude is a little needy, I decided, accidentally-on-purpose deleting the message. Then I had second thoughts and texted back a thumb's up.

Gotta keep the Bromance on simmer.... He was a client, after all.

Rafael called later, from his hotel room, clearly still anxious about his reunion with Jade the next day.

I answered on speaker, panting. "Yo. "

"You sound out of breath," said Rafael. "Are you exercising?"

"I'm innercising."

I reached to lower the volume on my turntable, and then continued my aerobic-dance-meditation to one of the records from Jade that I'd pretended to lose in a taxi. "I'm going to take a ninja nap after this," I informed him. "Science keeps proving that naps are the key to inner harmony and peak performance, amIrite?"

"It's not my area," Rafael answered, "But as far as I know, yes."

See! Not lazy! I was so far ahead of the curve, I was redefining standard deviation.

"Would you mind telling Nina that napping isn't deviant, the next time you talk to her?"

"No problem, Joe. Though I haven't been speaking to her lately, as we agreed. And if I'm honest, I find it much easier talking to you.... You understand me....."

I froze. Here we go with the man-crush. How much more must I suffer for my art?

To center myself, I executed a counter-clockwise hop & drop. "So what's up, Raf?"

"Well, this meeting with Jade, obviously." He laughed self-consciously. "I'm sure it's nerves. You know, I've thought about it for so long. I haven't talked about this with anyone, but my first evening with her was.... well, it was .... transformative...."

Now I have to listen while he spills his passion for my wife?

I really should have backup-dancers for this.

I practiced a new move from Jamaica — the Calm Step, involving an aggressive elbow thrust — while he poured his heart out.

"Yo, yo, Raf — " I said, cutting in. "I hate to sound like Shallow.com here, but aren't you getting a little deep for two dates? Okay, she's a hot chick — and extremely smart. Well, also hardworking and dedicated to helping others. And very kind, now that I think about it. Also good with pets and small children..."

"You know her?"

I cleared my throat. "Believe me, I'm familiar with all of our female clients. But I promise you, there are a couple billion others out there—"

"No, that's absolutely untrue. Show me another woman like her."

"Alright, I'll send you some files — "

Wait — what was I doing? Reverse tactic!

"I mean, they're kinda like her? But now I think about it, no, really not that much. Not at all, in fact — What were you saying?—"

"I don't need any more matches," Rafael said. "But — what if she doesn't forgive me?"

It was going to be a long night...

"Raf! Believe in yourself — in your dream! She's meeting you! Your dream is already in the bag! It smells like dream spirit!"

"You right, Joe — love can win the day. That's what the classic novels tell us."

"Love? Raf, whoa. You haven't even seen her in a year. No pressure or anything...."

"Have you read the novel Persuasion?"

"That one? Yeah, definitely! I read it in emoji —"