Shakespeare one shots

Hamlet is gay and no one is surprised

"IhaveacrushonaboyandI'mprettysureI'mgay." Well that was a word dump. And apparently an unsuccessful one, because both adults just looked lost.

"Sorry, my ears can't keep up with you, repeat?" Claudius said.

"I-I'm gay," I relayed in simpler terms, not even trying to hold back the sob that followed.

"Oh. Oh!" My mother exclaimed, her Concerned making way for a relieved smile. "Oh, honey, I thought you were going to say you'd been cutting or gotten death threats from a mafia or something!"

I thought briefly (and guiltily) about the week-old scars underneath my sleeve, but disregarded them when I was pulled into a tight hug.

To my slight surprise, it was Claudius who had embraced me. He pulled back with a proud grin and held my shoulders.

"I'm so glad you told us," he said with absolute sincerity.

"Is Horatio gay too?" My mother piped up. I gave her an incredulous look.

"Why w-would you think that?" I spluttered.

"Because your mother and I are eighty-nine percent certain he likes you," Claudius answered.

I must have looked completely flabbergasted (would more people use this word? Please?) because they exchanged a glance before he continued.

"He's been giving you pining stares when you're not looking for years, poor boy. Just last week, I remember, he was eating dinner here and he heaved the most lovesick sigh I've ever heard when you went to clear your plate."

I thought back for a moment. It made sense, dammit. The lingering hugs, the patient smiles, the worried texts at one AM after a bad day making sure I wasn't cutting where I lied and said I wasn't...

"I need to talk to Horatio," I mumbled.

We exchanged the usual I love you's as I jogged around the side of the house to my bike, but there was something different about this round. There was a certain weight to them, and we all knew that these were more than the routine reminders. I smiled to myself as I stood on the pedals in turn to build up speed.

I texted Horatio the words "Back step" after my tires skidded to a stop on the gravelly dirt beside his garage. A moment later I heard the screen door slam and he came running out to where I always waited.

"Hey! What's this about?" He stopped himself before he hugged me, giving me a joking accusatory look. "I'm not subject to another existential rant on this fine Saturday, am I?"

"Not today, I'm afraid," I laughed.

"Then why the urgency?"

"Back step. Please."

Once we were settled into the universal We Need To Talk location, me sitting cross-legged and him leaning against the railing, I took a fortifying breath.

"Can... c-can I try something?" I asked.

Horatio nodded.

"Okay. Um, close your eyes."

He raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Just trust me," I added.

He did. I leaned in as slowly as humanly possible. I didn't dare to breathe for fear of him opening his eyes and shoving me away.

I thought it was totally unfair how Hollywood portrayed first kisses. There was no wind, no music, nothing like that. It was just a simple touch of lips and then it was over. Screw you and your lies, Hollywood.

Horatio opened his eyes as I pulled away.

"My lord, why did you-"

"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, it was just my mom and uncle, they had a stupid theory-"

"My lord."

"-and I shouldn't have listened to them, I'm sorry, I've probably totally ruined our friendship and I get it if you hate me now-"

"My lord, please."

"-or never want to speak to me again, I just got too hopeful because I really like you, and I have for a long time, I think, but I wouldn't admit it to myself because I-"

"Hamlet!"

That shut me up. My eyes snapped to his as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You didn't give me time to kiss back," he said, rolling his eyes a little.

Before I could even get one more word out, his lips were back on mine and his hands were on my neck and mine were on his waist and holy shit, he was a really good kisser. 

We eventually broke apart for air (to the rejoicing of my lungs and the dismay of the rest of me). Dazed, I ghosted my finger over my lips.

"I think I'm in love with you," I breathed before I could stop myself.

"Good, because I think I'm in love with you too," he responded.

Simultaneously, we both burst into laughter. It was the kind of laughter that made you forget you needed to breathe until you were about to die. The kind that hurt just enough to remind you that you should probably stop but you wanted it to go on forever. The kind that I realized only really happened to me around Horatio.

I fell in love with my best friend.

And I'm pretty sure it was the best thing I've ever done.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Ah, there we go. Finally done. I intended to get this done last night (earlier today?) but my eyes decided not to stay open, so I thought I should put it down.

I just picked an epic bowl of wild raspberries from my yard and my legs are SO scratched up, oh my God-

And I'm going to Arizona soon to see family, so that will either boost or stop the writing for a week or so. I'm not dead. Just in another state.

Until next time, faeries. May your coming out go well, and not happen at all if it's not safe to do so. Seriously, if you might be in danger, don't do it. Just wait. Please.