Keep Me Safe (Sequel to Take Me Home)

Chapter Nineteen

Louis shrugged, heart pounding at the thought because he didn't have a problem. He was twelve years old, he wasn't addicted to alcohol. But he was addicted to finding unhealthy ways to block out his emotions instead of dealing with them, and he knew that was a problem in itself.

"I just, I feel sad and lonely, or I get mad that people a-are treating me like a baby. A-and I don't like being sad or lonely o-or mad so I just don't wanna feel anything at all," he cried, eyes filling with tears again.

"Oh, Lou," Dad murmured, rubbing a hand up and down his arm gently.

Louis carried on. Now that he started, he couldn't seem to stop. "And the guys on the team a-are older and better and I w-want to be good enough. I always t-try to be good and it's never enough!" he choked out, because it felt so good to get everything off of his chest, like a huge weight was being lifted off of his shoulders.

"And Harry's been so g-good to me," he carried on, hand tangling up in his Dad's shirt as he cried freely now, not even bothering to hide it anymore. "But all I've d-done is be mean to him, and there's something wrong w-with Niall and y-you guys are always busy and you k-keep arguing a-about money and it's all too much!"

His Dad held him tighter, hushing him, and he felt his Papa take his other hand and squeeze it gently.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," his Dad was murmuring over and over, and he just let everything pour out of him until finally, for the first time in what he realised was a really long time, his head was quiet.

#

Liam sent Louis up to take a nice warm bath after a little while, promising him they'd come to some sort of solution later on once everything had calmed down a little. Niall was still asleep upstairs, cuddled with Cooper, and as far as he knew, Harry was in his room.

He turned to his husband with tired eyes, shaking his head and sitting on the stool that their twelve year old had just been sitting in, putting his head in his hands.

Things had been so perfect, and he wasn't sure when everything had started breaking down.

Louis had been rebelling, and he hadn't been dealing with his emotions but all they had done was lecture him and punish him when he was struggling.

Harry had been spending most of his time with Ashton, and he couldn't remember the last time they had done anything together as father and son like they always used to.

Niall wasn't eating, barely speaking, he was always upstairs. The weight was dropping off of him and he looked ready to break but Liam didn't know what to do, didn't know how to deal with that sort of thing and so it was easier just to ignore it altogether, to pretend it wasn't happening.

He was an awful father. He had failed all of his boys, and he'd been so preoccupied with working an extra shift or two just to save up a few more pennies that he hadn't even realised.

Zayn wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his temple, and he looked up with watery eyes.

"Baby," Zayn hummed, holding him close but he pushed away, blinking away the tears and shaking his head. He wasn't the one who needed comforting.

"Don't, Z. We've messed up, big time," he said, and it was true. Both of them had been stressed and bickering constantly, and they hadn't realised how much it was affecting Louis, and probably the other two boys as well.

Zayn nodded, dropping his hands to the counter. "I know. I know. We can fix it," he said, and Liam sighed, shaking his head.

"Can we? Zayn, we need to drop those extra shifts, we've paid off the bills and now we need to focus on our boys," he said, then shook his head. "For crying out loud, our twelve year old is acting like an adult with the weight of the world on his shoulders? How'd we let it get to that?" he asked.

Zayn just shook his head, so Liam carried on.

"And Niall? He - he must have some sort of eating disorder, right? You've seen him, he's..." he trailed off, whispering the words 'eating disorder' like they were a curse because he didn't want to say it out loud, didn't want to believe it. "He's so tiny and it's not - we're not doing anything," he said.

"I don't think...I mean, Niall? He doesn't have - I think he's stressed, Li. All that schoolwork, it's all he ever does, he needs to take a breather," Zayn argued feebly, clearly not wanting to believe it either.

Liam shook his head. "And Harry. He's constantly left to his own devices, when was the last time either of us checked in on him, made sure he's not freaking slicing his wrists again? Hm?" he said, almost crying himself now.

Zayn chewed his lip and shook his head, and this time Liam allowed his husband to pull him into a hug because he needed it right then. He just needed it.

"We can fix this. We've fixed things before, right?" he said softly, and Liam sniffed, giving a small nod.

They were going to fix it alright. And if it seemed impossible, they'd have to find a way.

He refused to let his boys down again.

EDITED 17.12.21