knives and bruises a yuri x natsuki fanfic

Part 7

Natsuki left her last class for the day to find Yuri waiting for her outside the room, a bright smile on her face. They walked in synch to the clubroom, chatting about their respective days. They had mutually agreed to keep their budding relationship a secret from their friends until this whole situation blew over.

In the morning she had woken up to find the bed empty. She'd followed a sweet smell and padded downstairs, finding Yuri making pancakes for the two of them. It had been a lovely sight to see, one she hoped she would be able to see again.

Maybe a multiple of times.

Anyway, Yuri had also given her some money to cover her lunch, as she or Monika often did anyway, and had offered Natsuki some snacks to take with her, just in case. Knowing she was cared for was what had kept Natsuki so positive throughout the day.

But now it was time to meet Monika and find out what the hell was going on.

Monika looked up from her place at a desk when they entered the room and she sent them a clearly forced smile. "Hey guys!" Her fake enthusiasm was painful to listen to.

Natsuki put her hands on her hips. "C'mon, cut the crap, Moni. It's okay." Monika's smile wobbled and her eyes glazed over before she broke. She put her head in her arms against the desk and cried, heaving sobs that shook her whole body. Natsuki and Yuri rushed to pull chairs up at either side of her before wrapping their arms around their friend and whispering soothing words of encouragement. Monika had put on this act for long enough, she needed the chance to cry and they let her.

It hurt Natsuki to see her friend like this when she was usually so strong and positive. Whatever she'd heard at the festival must have been really, really bad.

Monika eventually calmed enough to lift her head, placing her forehead into her hands instead. She shook her head and sniffled, her face contorted with pain. "I don't know what to do. Sayori told me I could tell you two what's happening. She doesn't want you to worry."

Yuri offered her a tissue, which she accepted. "What is it, Monika?"

She wiped the fresh tears from her eyes, which seemed like a pointless thing to do given they were being replaced every second. She hiccuped as she talked. "The morning of the festival she wasn't answering my calls. Y'know, since I call her every morning to make sure she's awake and alright. But it just kept ringing and ringing, until eventually my calls weren't even going through. I was already out of the house and driving to hers by the second attempt, of course, but I tried to call her the whole way there." She breathed in deeply, her breath shuddering as she let it out. "I-I found her. Just...hanging there. In her room. She was barely alive. If I'd arrived even a minute later..."

Oh fuck.

Monika broke again, her cries filled with pain and hurt. Natsuki's heart practically stopped, her hands going numb.

This was bad. This was so fucking bad.

"When she regained consciousness I tried to make her go to the hospital, I was pleading with her. But she was so adamant on not letting us down and coming to the festival. I'm an awful girlfriend, I should have dragged her to the doctors at least."

Natsuki was barely paying attention at this point. Her mind kept flicking between memories. How Sayori had been acting at the festival, the conversation she'd overheard...

She felt tears sting her eyes. Glancing over to Yuri she noticed wet streaks lining her face. She looked like she was going to break.

Monika sniffled. "I wasn't going to let her be alone, though. That much was for certain. Especially since she destroyed her phone before she...yeah. Presumably to shut me up. So I made her come to mine, I figured it wasn't healthy her being at her own place with the memories. She, uh, she asked to drop into hers and pick up some stuff, though, and I let her. I thought she was safe with me. We fell asleep together, I kept her close so she couldn't harm herself again and I was going to force her to the doctors in the morning, but..."

Natsuki wiped her eyes furiously, the tears beginning to fall. How had she been so naive? This whole time Sayori had been struggling and she'd barely noticed.

Because you're a shit friend.

"I woke up early to her crying and retching in the bathroom. I rushed to see what was wrong and..." Monika screwed her eyes shut. "S-She'd swallowed a bottle of pills. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think straight, I...I just held her as I screamed and screamed. Over and over. She went limp in my arms. I was so, so convinced I'd lost her. I had called an ambulance when I found her, at least. They arrived in time to save her. Just."

Fucking hell.

Monika sobbed, and it shattered Natsuki's heart, sharp shards sticking into her chest as she breathed.

"The hospital won't let her leave unless she's showing signs of improvement, which is good but now she's stuck somewhere she doesn't want to be, all alone." Natsuki hugged Monika tightly and felt her friend trembling in her arms. "I-I nearly let her die twice in two days. What kind of world does that? Who does that?"

"Monika this isn't your fault!" Natsuki insisted, her voice shaking.

"S-She is right." Yuri had her face in her hands. Her weeping sent another shard into Natsuki's heart.

"This whole time she wouldn't let me save her. She didn't want to be saved. Am I a bad person for hating her for that?" Natsuki shook her head fiercely, ignoring the bruises screaming at her. They could go fuck themselves for all she cared right now. She knew exactly what Monika was talking about. "I just want her to be alright. I wish I was enough to make it go away."

We all do, Monika. We all do.