Broken yet not Lost

Chapter 24

She ate sadly. But once finished, when he stood up to leave with empty plates, she stopped him, "I love you, Shaurya". "I love you too, Mehek. But sadly, it's not enough and I have come to realise it now", he sighed. She opened her mouth to talk but he cut in, "Don't stress yourself". Before giving her anymore chances to explain, he walked to the door but turned , "Stop worrying about me coz I am okay. You won't lose me this time". He flashed his million dollar smile,, reassuring her that they will get through it together. Although he tried to hide behind his mask, his eyes betrayed him. She could read his pain in them.

Days passed away and things were back to normalcy, except that everyone handled Mehek like a fragile doll. Shaurya got over the pain and stayed beside Mehek as loving partner. She was impressed the way he maturely handled the situation. Mehek realised that he no longer pretended to be fine but was actually happy and looking forward for the arrival of their princess. As days neared, their anticipation were peaked. One night when Mehek was feeling edgy, he took her out for a short walk. They walked side by side with their finger intertwined in one another. "Remember how you took me along with you to visit the orphanage?", Mehek recalled their past. "Ofcourse I do", he pecked her hand, "on the way back we walked holding our hands together, like a couple", he recalled it. Suddenly he became grim, "It was then for the first time, you chose to be real with me. The stoic mask slipped away and chose to be natural. You shared about your childhood days", he sighed. She stopped walking and pulled his hand. She pointed at a stone bench nearby and they settled nearby. He tried to be cheerful but she knew she had to get it out of her chest.

"I was brought up in a strict orthodox environment. I had all material comforts needed for a young girl but lacked warmth of a family", she told him but gazed aimlessly. "It was inculcated in me that marriage, family and children are principal achievements of a woman's life", she paused, "That's why I felt so low when I knew I could never be a mother and marriage is not my fate", she opened her old wounds. "When I found out that I am pregnant, I was glad yet again those hollow rules possessed me. Rather than being happy with the blessing I received, I was adamant to get married to father of my child", she looked at Shaurya. 

Her eyes brimmed with tears yet somehow he wasn't brave enough to wipe them away. "I endured all humiliation and torment to have a married life with a man who no longer wanted me in his life", she sniffed, "Thinking about it now, I feel lucky that we broke apart. Else I would have been trapped in a toxic relationship that may have harmed even our child". It pained him to realize that the long shadows of his old sins were not leaving them in peace. He was pulled into immense guilt and shame but Mehek continued, "Marriage is an important event in a woman's life but it is not the only achievement. Her life, her career, her happiness, her self-respect and her freedom; all are also equally critical. I have realized it now. Until I gain it all , I am not sure of marriage".

Abruptly Mehek held his palms, "Things are perfect now. I am so happy coz I have everything I wished for. True friends, caring family and a man who loves me immensely", she rubbed her belly, "Once our princess arrives, it will be next to perfection. Why do we need to imbalance it with a marriage?", she asked him. For the first time after many days, Shaurya couldn't control his urge to confront her, "Why do you think marriage will tamper our happy life?". She looked away, "I don't know. But I have this eerie feeling. May be it's an inferiority complex. Whether socially or financially, I am so under achieved compared to you. I fear to be tagged as a gold digger who tactfully trapped you with a child". He shook his head and moved beside to side hug her body. His encouragement urged her to speak her mind. "We are together, Shaurya. We love eachother; probably more than any husband and wife. Will having a nuptial chain around my neck or a marriage certificate make any difference to us?", she asked him. "If it doesn't then why are you shying away from it?", he asked earnestly. "I prefer to keep this simple and unrestrained. You need not be tied down with a middle class woman who lack class, status and achievements.", she was clear

"Mehek, we don't have to bother about society. You know it well that we have passed that point long ago. I know your true worth. Still if you prefer to show the world your value, I am happy to be your strength. Whether it is starting your own business or progressing in your career, I will always support you. For me, all these reasons, seem to be excuses", he taunted her. Mehek gasped in protest but he showed his palm to stay quiet, "It is lack of trust. You are afraid that I may hurt you again and break you beyond repair". Tears spilled from her eyes but he quickly wiped them away. He felt so guilty to make her cry, "Shush..don't cry. It's not your fault as I am  be blamed". She sobbed softly. "I am sorry, Mehek. I didn't want to upset you", he tried his best to console her, "I am the guilty person and I am ready to pay for my sins. It pains me that you and our baby are suffering from it. I will thrive every moment of my life to make it up to you and win back your trust. So I accept your decision gracefully". He gave his handkerchief to wipe her face. "So you are not angry, are you?", she asked like a troubled child. "No, my dear. And I am not leaving you ever. You are stuck with me", he humoured and got rewarded by her sweet smile. "I love you", she spoke her heart. "I love you more", he declared and pulled her into a tight hug.

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