Bury a Friend | Hemlock Grove |

Chapter 12 | Should've Known Better |

But this is her. She thinks there's no way he could do that to her. But, then again, nothing seemed to matter much anymore. Reflecting on his past and potential behavior, Emma can't believe she was friends with someone like him. She now sees why most of her friends didn't understand why she was friends with him.

These behaviors- they're not new. This is how he's always behaved and always will, she tells herself. How could she have just looked past it? Roman Godfrey had been hurtful to so many people and she has ignored it because she was different. And now she's seething at the thought.

But as fast as the anger came it flees.

It's her fault. She had known who he was and had ignored it. She should've known better. What kind of insensitive person would ignore all of those things? She's stupid, so, so, fucking stupid. There's no amount of drugs or alcohol that could or should make a person forget everything he had done to her- everything she had seen him do to others.

She didn't see it because she didn't want to. She didn't care.

Emma doesn't know what's hurting the most, but whatever it is, it sends a shiver down her spine. It's dark out now and she isn't sure how long it's been that way. Time doesn't make much sense to her now. Are the days too long or too short? She can't tell. There's so much silence.

She'd take the night time silence over what she imagines is coming for her this week. Maybe everyone will just let it go. She knows Ally will ask, but she would do so privately. It would be a good opportunity to tell someone the whole truth, but she's in too deep. She's embarrassed to even admit it to herself, but she wishes someone knew. That, somehow, someone figured it out. She doesn't want to be the one to tell them.

Buried deep under blankets, Emma rolls over onto her back. She rubs her eyes and wishes they would stay closed. She knows what she's feeling isn't okay, but it's like freezing to death. If you succumb to it long enough you start to feel warm. She starts to consider taking that walk through the woods.

There's no guarantee anything would happen. It seemed like the attacks were sporadic and not frequent enough to put her at a favorable chance. It would be a big deal if something happened to her, though. People would be sad, maybe Roman would feel bad. But probably not. Every single thought gets washed out by her mother. She couldn't hurt her like that.

The thoughts of barren trees at night and sleeping pills lull her to sleep.

Sometime later in the evening, Emma shoots up from her place on the floor, dripping sweat, heart pounding. The same three dreams. It's always one of them or no dream at all. The horses, the hole, and the room.

The room is her worst. She's in a padded room with a few windows that reveal the night sky. There's one door, but somehow Emma knows it's locked. She sits on one side of the room, and directly across from her sits Roman.

Nothing happens. He doesn't touch her, doesn't move, but can feel so much in the atmosphere. Irate, pain, disgust. Silent diatribes radiating loudly from both of them. She wakes up at the same point in the dream every time. Roman will stand a walk towards her. He kneels in front of her and lifts her chin. Then she wakes up.

She doesn't know why it terrifies her so much. She just knows that something is very wrong. Even after finally calming down sleep won't come.

_____________

"Sup?" Peter says and he opens the car door and slides in. Roman slowly moves his head towards him and nods. His sunglasses and tinted a seemingly impossibly dark shade of black. "You good?"

"Hungover," Roman groans, voice husky and rough. "Got a pit stop first."

"Oh," Peter reaches down to the floorboard, "did you fuck someone where I'm sitting?"