I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to move. i didn't want to roll over or open my eyes or anything else for that matter. I just wanted to lay there.
I was flat on my back, Colt's head on my chest and his paw over my chest. Carson's face was against my head, his arm accross my torso and my lleg over his. I was comfortable. Like I had been all the times I had been in the same bed as Zach. i was comfortable and happy and content.
I closed my eyes, hoping to fall back to sleep.
I was close. Almost there when what I assumed was an alarm began blarring.
Beep Beep Beep
Carson shot up out of the bed, the sound jolting Colt to the door barking and me sitting straight up calling him down.
Carson grabbed his phone and shit it off, stretching and giung to his duffle bag on the other side of the room while Colt joined me bakc in bed.
"What are you doin'?" I asked, hoping that he would lay back down.
"I've gotta go to work. Everyone's working super time to help on the new case." He said, standing up straight and looking at me.
I sighed. "Oh. Okay."
"Did you have something planned for today?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
i looked at the clock. "Nothing that starts at 5:30." I assured him, falling back down on the pillow.
He stepped into my closet and came back out fully dressed, tucking his gun into it's holster.
"I've never seen you with a gun." I said, hoping it wasn't loaded.
He smiled a little and shrugged."It's part of the job."
I smiled a little and looked at him, remembering what happened the day before.
"Carson... I think we should talk." I said, propping myself up on my elbows so I could see him better.
He didn't say anything, he just came over and sat on the bed.
"What happened yesterday..." I trailed off, not sure how to finish.
One part of me wanted to beg him to do it again and the other part wanted to beg him not to. I wasn't sure which part to go with.
"Look, I know. We're just friends. Nothing more nothing less than good friends." He said, trying to assure me.
I sighed. He just wanted to be friends. nothing more.
I shook my head quietly, hoping he would change his mind about what he wanted. But, sadly, I knew he wouldn't.
I shook my head quietly and stood up.
I wanted so badly to turn around annd kiss him again. I wanted to hug him and kiss him and let the feeling of him close to me take away the pain.
I felt tears well up at the rejection and grief. I lost Zach and now I ould never get to have Carson either.
"I'm gonna need you to come in sometime this week to give a statement of the accident." He said quietly, stepping closer to me. "I tried to put it off for as long as possible but we don't have a lot of leads right now."
"I already told you what happened Carson. I told you everything I saw. I couldn't see his face because of the mask. I don't know what else I know that could help." I said, feeling more tears well up, threatening to spill over.
He stepped loser, now only a few inches away.
He sighed loudly. "I'm so sorry that you have to do this Ansleigh. I know how hard it is. It's something you should never have to go through. Especially not this way. But I have to have your statement."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. i felt his arms wrap around me, still never opening my eyes, afraid that if I did I would have to face the world.
"I know you're trying to be strong for Viv and the baby, but you don't have to be. She'll be okay An. She's strong and she's got a husband who can take care of her. he can help her through whatever she's going through. You don't have someone like that. I'll try my best to help you but I can only help you in the ways that you'll let me." He said, his chin resting on my head.
"If I cry again I won't stop." I said, still holding the tears back through closed eyes.
He sighed and pulled back a little. He kissed my forehead and I opened my eyes, taking in his expression. He was concerned and pained for me.
I gave him a half reassuring smile.
"Don't you have work today?" He asked, letting his arms fall from me.
"Yeah. I go in at eight. Get off at four." I said, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.
"Okay. Could you come in around 4:30?" He asked, sitting back down to put his shoes on.
I shook my head, laying back down in bed and curling up under the covers.
I felt him kiss my forehead again before he left.
