Sex Lessons

23

"When the hell was this?" Spencer croaked, steady beating Lemuel's back in as he tried to regain his breath.

"It was after the party. We drove back to my house and things . . . happened." I admitted, a sigh escaping my lips.

Lemuel cleared his throat, before croaking out, "What kind of things? Things, things?" He raised his brow up at me, wiggling them a bit.

"We didn't have sex Lemuel," I narrowed my gaze at him. "But I feel like if he didn't break the kiss than we possibly would have? I don't know man, my mind is all confused, honestly."

Spencer looked at me with eyes full of empathy, her light eyes locking on my dark one for a moment. "So you two kissed, and then you told him to leave you alone because Armon has a video of you imitating to kissing each other?" She repeated, Lemuel holding up fingers as if counting the points of the story.

"I say fuck Armon and that video." Lemuel voiced, slamming his fist down on the table, glaring at me.

I leaned back in my seat, my head turning up at the colorful ceiling of the place. "He said he was going to show it to Elena if I didn't drop out of the running for homecoming king."

Spencer's eyes widened. "So that's why you dropped out." She blinked at me, a faint look of disappointment coming over her face.

"But I thought you and Elena broke up? Why would you care if she sees the video?" Lemuel questioned, pursing his lips together.

I shrugged my shoulders at them, "I mean we didn't technically break up. No one ever said the words "Let's break up", we just haven't talked to each other in a while."

The table grew silent, only the soft sound of the music playing from the fake jukebox behind us could be heard. It was the eerie kind of silence, the silence where you knew someone wanted to say something but they didn't quite know how to say it. The kind of silence that made your breath hitch in your throat because you knew what was coming next.

"Do you wanna break up with her?"

"I don't know."

The words had no effect when they rolled off my tongue. Maybe it's because a part of me already knew the answer, but I couldn't find it in myself to say it aloud, not yet.

"Well let me ask you this," Lemuel began, his eyes darting up from his drink to me. "Do you wanna be with Aries?"

I paused for three seconds.

One.

Two.

Three.

"I don't know." I sighed.

Lemuel and Spencer exchanged a knowing glance with one another, before rolling their eyes in sync. "Bullshit. Grayson. You know you do, and it's so evident. I've known for you years, and in the last two years I've never seen Elena make you laugh the way Aries has. The affect he has on you is unexplainable. The boy doesn't talk to you for a couple of days and you're ready to throw yourself off a cliff."

My eyes roamed off elsewhere, unable to make eye contact.

"Is it about you not being able to accept yourself for who you truly are?" Spencer asked, and we locked eyes for a moment. There was no words said, but it's like my best friend could read my eyes in a way that no else could, and when I broke the gaze, she exhaled a sigh.