Traumatised

One Year On

A crack of thunder echoed across the night and Dick's eyes snapped open. He stared ahead into the darkness above him. The blackness swam into shapes and swirls then lit up as another flash of lightning came from outside. Upon the next clap of thunder, Dick realised his body was heavy. He couldn't move. Even his fingers were ignorant of his commands. He tried to open his mouth to shout out, but his jaw was locked shut. He couldn't move, couldn't scream.

The shadows above him swirled faster until they morphed into the shape of a man. Dick whimpered, his eyes wide as Robert's face loomed over him. As the rest of the man's body formed, Roberts face melted away to be replaced by Bane. One of his hands came to rest on Dick's heaving chest, pressing down and restricting his air flow. Bane's other hand went down and began creeping its way up against Dick's leg, feather-like touches on his inner thigh, going higher and higher.

Dick renewed his struggle to move his body, a sound that resembled a muffled scream came from his closed lips.

Move!

Move!

Bane's face came closer to his own, the hand on his chest pushing harder. He couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't breathe.

Move!

Move!

Bane's mouth pulled into a sneer, showing his crooked teeth. Dick could do nothing but stare. Why wasn't anyone coming? Why did no one ever come?

Move!

God damn it! MOVE!

With a yell, Dick's body violently ripped itself from the bed, sending him crashing to the floor. He scrambled to the wall and pushed his back against it, staring back into the dark room. Another flash of lightning lit up the space. But there was no one there.

Dick took some raspy breaths, trying to fight off hyperventilation.

The first time he had suffered from sleep paralysis, he had been hysterical. It had taken both Bruce and Alfred hours to comfort him; he hadn't wanted anyone to touch him. He wouldn't let them close enough to help. He had just sat in the corner of his room screaming. In the six months that followed the Ivy and Bane incident, Dick suffered four episodes of sleep paralysis. Each one was just as terrifying, but each time he was able to recover a little faster. But this was the first time he had had an episode since he had left Gotham five months ago. This was the first time he had had to fight off the paralysis while he was in Titans Tower. And this was the first time Bruce didn't knock on the door afterwards to check he was alright.

As if to contradict this thought, a knock came from outside his bedroom door.

'Rob, you alright?' It was Cyborg.

Dick pushed himself off the floor, grabbed his sunglasses from his bedside table and opened the door a crack.

'Yeh, I'm fine.' He said, though his voice still shook.

'I thought I heard you scream?' said the robotic man.

'I've got the TV on.' Robin lied. 'I'll turn it down.'

Cyborgs human eye glanced over Robin's shoulder and noted the dark room behind him. There was no way the TV was on.

'Ok, if you're sure.' He said anyway. Their leader was a very private person and the Titans tried to respect that. But Cyborg had to admit, the teen seemed more on edge than usual.

'Sorry to wake you.' Said Robin quietly before he gently closed the door on his teammate.

Alone again in the darkroom, Robin turned on all of the lights. It settled the beating of his heart a little, but it was still thundering with adrenaline. When he had left Gotham behind (along with Bruce, Richard Grayson and any link to that event), he had thought he would finally be able to move on with his life. He'd abandoned his civilian identity, remaining as Robin 24/7. So why were those dark feelings and memories creeping in again?

Growling with frustration, Robin pulled on some workout clothes and applied his mask using the small round mirror in his bathroom – the only reflective surface in his personal living space.

In the gym, he worked his frustration from his body. Pushing himself until he struck out with his leg at a wrong angle and hit the sandbag, twisting his ankle painfully. He hissed and sank to the floor, pulling his shoes and sock off to rub the twisted area. It was a rookie mistake, and it brought back the frustration he had spent the previous two hours trying to relieve. He cringed as he tried to put weight on his injured foot.

'Damn it.' He said out loud. Grabbing his shoe from the floor, he hobbled over to the showers, turning the heat up as high as it would go. He stripped himself out of his sweaty clothes and breathed through the pain as he entered the stream of water. He let the burning sensation wash away the memory of the sleep paralysis and the feeling of Bane's hand touching his inner thigh. By the time he finished, his skin was red and tingling. He dressed in some of the loose slacks and hoodies he kept in the gym and limped towards the living area in bare feet. It was still dark outside and for the first time, it occurred to the Boy Wonder to check the time. He looked down at his phone – it was 4 am.

He stretched his arms above his head and his shoulders and back popped and let out a series of clicks. Releasing the building tension in what Wally used to call his dancer's joints. Despite Robin's insistence that he had never danced in his life, the term was soon adopted by the whole of his old team.

Thinking about his old teammates, Robin stared down at his phone and wondered whether he should contact them. He knew they had been confused when he had suddenly left, especially when he hadn't given them much of an explanation. But what could he tell them? They all knew what had happened – maybe that was why he couldn't be around them right now.

He hobbled to the kitchen and made himself a coffee and got an ice pack from the fridge, before settling himself on the couch with his foot elevated. He sat like that for a long while, watching the sun slowly creep into the sky.

'You're up early.'

Robin looked over his shoulder to see Raven coming up beside him. 'Couldn't sleep?'

He shrugged, 'Didn't see much point it just lying there.'

'Something on your mind?' She tilted her head to the side, a knowing expression on her face. She was an empath, she could feel the waves of fear, disgust and hatred rolling off the leader of the Teen Titans.

Robin caught the knowing look and knew there was no way he could lie to her, so he just sighed and shrugged, turning back to the sunrise.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Not really.' He said but realised he sounded very blunt, so he turned back to her with a small smile. 'Thanks, Rae, but some things are better left unsaid.'

She frowned, not agreeing with that statement, but nodded anyway. It was clear her friend was hurting, but she knew if she pushed too hard too fast, she could do more damage than good.

'What happened? She said, nodding towards the ice pack on his ankle.

'It's just twisted.' He said, as though that answered her question.

'Do you want me to take a look?' She reached a hand towards his foot, but he ripped the limb back towards himself violently. Raven felt the wave of fear rush off him.

'Sorry.' She said, slowly pulling her hand back. Robin was a pretty high-strung person, they had all figured it came from working with the Batman in Gotham and being the first ever sidekick to a hero. But today, the young male seemed more on edge than usual.

'It's fine.' He said though she wasn't sure if he was referring to his ankle or her actions.

Deciding the best way to get past this moment was to walk away, Raven headed to the kitchen and began making her morning cup of tea. From the corner of her eye she watched the Boy Wonder, she could see him taking deep breaths and if she allowed his emotions to touch her mind, she could feel him trying to suppress a panic attack.

It was at that moment that Raven fully realised. Something had happened to the Boy Wonder in the past, something horrific something he was still struggling to live with. But what?