Traumatised

Preface

Dick dropped his school bag on the floor unceremoniously as he entered his bedroom. He took a sweeping glance over the room, seeing the familiar and the new. Bruce had moved him to a new room in the manor and replaced his bed in the hope of helping his young charge move on from the terrible ordeal. Dick had thought seeing his old room would bring back memories of Bane's assault, but in all honesty, the new room did the same. The absence of his old room was a scream in his head just as loud as the actual room itself, with its broken door and blood-stained carpet. But he dared not share his feelings with Bruce; the man had been in turmoil over what had happened with Ivy and Bane. Dick did not want the older man to blame himself any more than he already did.

Heading to the bathroom he stripped out of his school uniform, sighing deeply as the hot water made contact with his skin. It never seemed to be enough. Bane's touch was like an itch under his flesh that made his skin crawl. After he had once again scrubbed at every inch of his body, he exited the shower, wrapped a fluffy white towel around his waist and padded back to the main room. He paused as he passed his full-length mirror. It was an item he had been avoiding since he had returned to the manor, something else he tried to hide from Bruce.

He paused and stared at himself; running his fingers along his chest gently. The bruises were beginning to fade now, soon they would be nothing more than memory; nothing more than those phantom itches under his skin. Dick dropped his head and sighed to himself sadly.

Maybe one day he would be able to look in the mirror and not despise what stared back at him. But today was not that day. He looked his body over and felt his nose curl. He felt tainted. Broken. Used.

Bruce had asked him to go and see Dinah, to talk to her about what had happened. Dick had complied, he wanted Bruce to think he was getting better. He didn't want this to hang over the man who had given him so much. He could see Bruce blamed himself, which Dick told himself he didn't want. But deep down he knew he blamed him too. But he couldn't tell Dinah that; whether she told Bruce of not, he didn't want to say those thoughts out loud. This ultimately, made his sessions with Black Canary useless.

There was only one way he had found to stop the itching, the repulsion and the general fear of being in his own skin. As soon as he put on his mask, he was no longer Dick Grayson. He was Robin. And those horrible things hadn't happened to the Boy Wonder. Robin was strong and fearless, he could do anything. Overcome anything.

If only he could be Robin all the time. Maybe if he never had to go back to being Dick Grayson, he would be ok.