Nateiplier Shorts

Forever Lying

October 30th,
3:00am

It's really sad how much I, Nathan Sharp, can lie and no one notices. Almost every sentence I say and every part I play is a lie. It's almost all fake. My words, my smiles, my laughs, my tears are all fake!

'What's your favourite color?' People will ask me.

I'll respond with purple, red, or green. Those are lies however. My favourite color is black but that's boring. People look at you weird if you say black. They ask if you're depressed, if you're some sort of punk or emo kid, or they tell you black isn't a color.

Well they're not wrong but people use it as a color. People call it a color. I see it as a color and not a color. However, in any situation, it's my favourite color, shade, pigment, or the absence of light.

I can lie right through my teeth and I can lie right through my skin.

It's sickening and yet it's not.

If people ask me how I'm doing I'll tell then I'm doing okay, even if I feel like I shouldn't have left my bed

If people tell a joke I'm going to make myself laugh at it, even if it wasn't in any way funny.

If people tell me I look sick I'll tell them I'm perfectly healthy, even if I end up going home and coughing so much I throw up.

If people have me watch a sad movie or video I'll have myself cry until my eyes burn, even if deep down on the inside I felt completely void of empathy.

Why do I lie so much?

Because life is boring. You are birthed, you go to school, you grow up, get a job, and for what? To end up dying anyway?

Spice life up a little. Lie here and there. Lie all the time. The looks on peoples faces at the stuff you do or say when you lie is an expression worth seeing.

It ranges from amusement, to shock, to excitement, to awe, or if the catch you? Betrayal.

But eventually lying gets boring and then you want to chase a new high to life. A new excitement.

I found truth, and that was only one, but it kept life exciting. I will always hold this truth dear to me even if I end up letting it go in my future.

When I was 27 I met a man named Mark Fisbach. His hair was red at the time and he carried-still does- this bubbly goofy personality around.

He looked interesting, like a old mythology book covered in dust on a broken down book shelf but the book had a light shining right on it.

Turns out that he thought the same thing when he looked at me when we met to film a musical for our shared friend, AJ.

We clicked right away and had a few laughs, surprisingly, I wasn't bored.  The rest of the time for filming the musical passed by like a blur. I was having to much fun. I wasn't feeling bored.

It was exhilarating. I was thrilled.

Mark and I eventually hit it off and started dating a year after we became friends, life became less and less boring and more and more exciting.

His dog Chica met Rylo and they get along great. We go on trips, the two of us humans and the two dogs, and it's new and fun for me.

Mark and I sing together. We make videos together, take walks, eat, sleep, do chores, play games, read, laugh, cry, and more.

I told him about my lying problem and he didn't leave me. He took me by my hands and smiled at me.

'We'll get you help.' He said.

I responded to him by saying I didn't know you could cure boredom. He tilted his head at me, confused.

'I lie because I'm bored.' I told him after.

He smiled and drug me towards him to pick me up and cradle me as he rushed outside to deposit me into the ice cold pool.

I had yelped and splashed at the water. This was thrilling. My heart was racing.

'Well, Nate, I'll just have to make your life one that's worth the story books.'
It's never boring, but then again, I lie.

I explained to you that I lie.

This whole story could be made up and I could actually just be a lonely person hiding behind a screen looking for attention because I'm to scared to leave my house.

However, I could be the most social person you will ever meet who needed to write some sort of fake story about himself so he won't forever be lost in a sea of coding.

But I can quit lying for one minute to tell you that I'm not writing this because I'm lonely and I'm not writing this because I need to be remembered...

I'm writing this as an apology to my special one and only truth I have. I'm sorry because life is boring and you got to spice it up. But once you bite into the same fruit to many tines you get a tolerance for it. It starts getting tasteless and numbing.

I need to move on, but you, my special truth will live in my heart. I will give you my dog Rylo to keep safe as where I'm going won't be safe.

If anyone asks what happened to me tell them...lie to them. Tell them I went on the search for the truth of myself when really I went in search for more lies in this boring world.

I love you, Mark.

Forever Lying,
Nathan Sharp (Smith)