Julie Bane

Chapter Thirty-One- I'm Not Sadie

  "Ok, my turn." I say. "Truth."

  "Really?" She sighs and I nod. "Is it true that you only like me because I look like Sadie?" She asks without skipping a best. We stop walking again and I look down at her and frown.

  "Why would you think that?" I ask.

  "Becomes I look like my sister, I guess. Same face. And, how can you go from loving a revel to loving a girl who's nerdy and fragile like me?"

  "You wanna know something?" I ask her. "Sadie was forced to act exactly how your real personality is when she was at school. She had to act completely innocent. Innocence was her disguise." I explain. "It's quite funny really. She could act exactly like you do, but in reality she was actually a badass gang leader. And, I was attracted to both sides of her, her innocent side, and her not innocent side. And when I look at you all I see is her innocent side. But, without a short temper. She had a short temper." I tell Julie honestly.

  "Oh." She nods. "So, you see Sadie when you look at me. You don't see me when you look at me.

  "No, I do see you when I look at you."

  "But you said when you look at me all you see is her innocent side."

  "She wasn't actually innocent." I roll my eyes.

  "But I am."

  "Yes, I know. And I love that."

  "What was Sadie's personality at school?"

  "Smart, got good grades. Pretty-"

  "Pretty isn't a personality, Carlos." She says.

  "Oh." I sigh and look off at the sky and think. "So she was smart, and she was mysterious. She was intriguing. She would occasionally punch someone if they pissed her off. That was fun to watch. She was sassy. She was a smart ass too, very witty. And she... I just liked her." I say with a smile before looking back down at Julie.

  "Ok, now describe my personality." She says.

  "You're sweet, loving, you're really cute and your voice is just so soft and sweet."

  "Those aren't personalities." I groan.

  "Ok, you're... you're innocent." I say. "Doesn't they explain everything?"

  "No."

  "Ok. Umm... you're also..." Why do I have to think so hard about this? "Oh, you're smart. You care about your grades. You're kind. You care about others. You love cats. And, you can have an attitude when you really want to." I finish.

  She shakes her head at me.

"What?" I ask.

  "Why did that take so long for you to think about?" She asks.

  "Pressure?" I shrug. "I don't know, I'm dumb."

  "Yeah, you are." She nods.

  "Carlos, be honest. Do you care about Julie Bane? Or do you care about the innocent Sadie Bane?"

  "Both."

  "Which one do you love though, Carlos?"

  "Both."

  "Choose one. If Sadie came back somehow, what would you do?"

  "I-I don't know. Probably go see a shrink because I'd think I've lost my mind."

  "Seriously Carlos. Would you get back with Sadie, or would you stay with me?" I look down and bite my lip. That's a really hard question. "I-is probably..." I don't look at her as I answer. "S-Sadie." I say I'm barely a whisper.

  "Ok." She pulls her hands out of mine.

  "But, Sadie, I-"

  "You just called me Sadie." She mutters.

  "The names sound similar. It's confusing. I'm sorry." I fidget with my fingers.

  "I'm gonna go home. To my home." She says and starts walking.

  "What? Sadie! Dammit!" What is wrong with me! "Julie! Come back! You can't go there, it's too dangerous!" I shout, running after her. I grab her wrist and pull her back.

"You clearly only like me because I remind you of Sadie. I am not Sadie, Carlos. I am Julie. Julie Bane. Just because my older sister is Sadie does not mean I am her!" She yells.

"I know you're not her."

"You called me by her name two times! In less than ten minutes!"

"It was a mistake."

"Yes, Carlos. This was a mistake. I'm not going to love someone who only loves me because they loved my sister who's no longer here, so the only way you can still feel like she's here is by being with me! That's not good for me, and it defiantly is not good for you."

I stare at her.

"But I love you Julie."

"You don't live me Carlos, you love Sadie. I'm not Sadie." She shakes her head before walking away.