𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

Cheirophilia (Ashton Irwin)

"Do you need help with that?" I ask Ashton, watching him as he struggles to eat his meal. 
"No. I can do it." He states, struggling to cut the steak. 
"Let me help, baby..." I insist, trying to pull his plate from him. He pulls it away, looking at me angrily. 
"(Y/N), I can do things by my fucking self. Ok? There is no need to be my babysitter." He snaps at me, hitting his hand on the table. I gasp and twitch back, looking at him in utter surprise; he has never done that before, he was always the calmest, softest he could be around me. My chest rises and falls, and I catch myself feeling scared, stomach tightened and hands trembling. 
I pull my chair back and get up from the table, picking up my plate and throwing it into the kitchen sink, before I rush to our bedroom. 
"Oh, come on... Don't be such a baby." I hear Ashton says as I leave, but decide to bite my tongue and not ignite the fire. 

"Baby..." I hear Ashton whisper from the door of our bedroom. I pretend I am asleep, not in a mood to have a fight tonight. I hear him sigh and move inside, walking on his side of the bed. I feel the bed shift as he sits down and strokes my hair. 
"I know you are not asleep, baby. I am sorry for being an asshole before, you don't deserve it. I love you, princess. And I am so sorry I made you feel unsafe." He whispers, leaning down to press a kiss on my forehead before he picks up his pillow and gets up from the bed. I stay frozen, unreactive to his apology while he walks out. My heart aches for how sad he sounded, but he was truly an asshole to me. 
For 10 minutes, I sit on the bed, knees to my chest as I try to think of how to approach him after this, make him soften, and show him that I want to put this behind us. 
So, I get up from the bed, pull my hair in a bun, and slip into one of his oversized band tees and nothing else but my panties before I tiptoe to the living room, finding Ashton with his pillow propped against the couch's arm. 
"Hi, there." I whisper, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. He averts his gaze from the screen, humming satisfied as he sees my soft expression. 
"Hi. Thought you were asleep." He teases me, making me smile at him and punch his shoulder softly. 
"Can't sleep without you, you know that." I reply and he hums. 
"One of the disadvantages of being in love with me." He strokes his thumb over my thigh. I chuckle and move to straddle his lap, biting my lip as I smile down at him. 
"Wanna come back to our bed? Please? I need you." I pout and he smirks. 
"For?" He asks, placing his palm on my leg. 
"For cuddles... After you pound me down on the mattress and rearrange my guts." I wiggle my hips down on his length, watching him as he closes his eyes. 
"I will do all that?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow at me. 
"You don't want to?" I ask, cradling his face in my hands. 
"More than anything. I wanna feel all of you." He replies, looking at me with his eyes all sparkly. 
"Then, let's get to bed." I stand up, extending my hand for him to take it. He takes it, following right behind me as I lead us to the bedroom. 
"I haven't had sex since the night before the accident." I realize, frowning a little at Ashton who chuckles. 
"What a coincidence, me neither." He replies, making me roll my eyes at him. 
"Yeah, we would be having an issue if you had." I pull him in for a kiss, bunching his t-shirt in my hand. He responds by cornering me up against the door of our bedroom, pressing his hips on mine. I feel his bulging member against my stomach, causing me to start clenching around nothing, while my thighs stay pressed together. 
His hand goes down my body, stopping on my hip, under the t-shirt. His fingers tangle in my panties, raising goosebumps to my skin. 
"You are going to drive me insane... Fucking insane." He whispers under his breath before he crashes his lips on mine. I lean my head back on the wall, wrapping my leg around his waist. 
"That's my fucking plan." I reply in between kisses. 
"Oh yeah? Well, we will have to see about that..." He replies, slipping his hand inside my panties. He uses his middle and ring finger to apply pressure to my clit and rub it back and forth, testing me to see how much I want him. 
"Look at that, princess. Your clit is throbbing..." He whispers, leaning closer to bite my earlobe. 
I grab his wrist and press my core more on his hand, guiding his hand where I want it. 
"Please... I  need your fingers... Please..." I plead for him, causing him to chuckle loudly. 
"Alright then..." He says as he slips his fingers inside me. 
Usually, I would have been already melting under his touch, but the sensation is weird, almost out of rhythm.  
He must have sensed that too since he is groaning and trying to find an angle to thrust his fingers better. 
"Give me a second, love. I will make you feel good, I promise." He struggles to find the right way, hit the right spot, and get me begging for more. 
The poor guy tries to fingerbang me,  but without his dominant hand, it barely feels like he is touching me. I can see the disappointment in his eyes, the frustration and agony as he looks for a reaction in me. 
I sigh, contemplating just faking it for his sake, but he knows my body and reactions, so he would see that something is wrong.
"Babe... I don't think this is going somewhere. Let's skip to the main course..." I suggest, looking in his eyes.  He looks totally disappointed, confused by the fact he couldn't please me. 
"No... No... I can do it... Just give me a few more minutes." He pleads. I grab his hand and push it away, fixing my panties.
"It doesn't feel right baby... Let's get to the real thing." I suggest, trying to take his hand and take him to our bed. 
"No... I am not in the mood." He snaps at me, walking out of the room. 
"It's alright... We can just cuddle on the bed." I suggest, moving right behind him. 
"No. I will sleep on the couch tonight." He states, without turning to give me at least a look. 
"For God's sake, Ashton. Stop being so fucking moody. It's not a biggie that you couldn't make me cum with your fingers..." I cry out; he finally turns to look at me, eyes wide and jaw tensed. 
"End of the fucking discussion. I will see you in the morning." He groans, walking away. 
I close my eyes and take a deep breath; I am really trying to be understanding right now, and in general, I understand that this situation is challenging for him, but he has become unbearably obnoxious.