"You Were" [SheXChanYeol]

I'm mad at me too

We were in the garden, being surrownders by Chanyeol's self taken pictures for his project...
The wind was tauching Chanyeol's face gentely, the thing I've always been responsible to do. This gave me the chance to think about what my mother and I were disccusing at home. I don't know why did she try to convince me not to go to the university? University or any other thing related to it wasn't even a thing for me... except for Chanyeol.
I looked at his beautiful closed eyes and wondered if he loved me? Will he try to come and see me if I couldn't get out of my house? This thoughts hurt my own heart but they were kinda sweet. I imagined him giving my medicine when I'm not in the mood to take them...I imagined him taking me to the hospital when I'm having an attack. I knew...My thought were going out of control...I've always hated seeing him worried but I was getting happy by the thought of him being worried for myself...
I cleared my throat to get his attention.
"I...I kinda can't leave our house anymore...I have a little problem"
Of course it was a huge problem!but I wasn't ready to tell him yet...
He got confused.
"What? Tell me why"
I didn't answer. And he got angry...he was right...He was my boyfriend and I had to tell him everything but not this one...I couldn't...
He left...I knew he wasn't mad because we couldn't go on dates together...He was mad becouse he thought I didn't trust him...He told me everything and I was a coward and couldn't tell him...

I started crying...What could I do?