Shrekigi

Bad bad donkey

"well when Fiona died from that large ass coming through her window, she was cremated and Bert died from that oatmeal ya know.. you took the pot home with you and ya know Donkey like pot."

I rolled my eyes.

"This tells me nothing Donkey.."

He feasted on the ashes again. I grabbed Donkey.

"STOP IT YOU ASH HOAR!"

Donkey bit me.

"OWCH!"

I pinned him against the wall of the pot.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Donkey looked at me.

"What's wrong with you..I thought you loved me!"

I let him go.

"Donkey.."

"I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU SHREK! I DID THIS ALL FOR YOU! I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I TOOK THAT OLD ASS RAISIN TO THAT DAMN RETIREMENT HOME AND HE DIDN'T STOP CRYING ABOUT HOW HE NEEDED TO REAJUST HIS THONG AND GUESS WHO HAD TO HELP HIM SINCE HE COULDN'T BEND OVER..ME!"

Donkey calmed down.

"You picked that twig over me..why..why"

I laid my hand on his back.

"Because..I'm not a furry.."

Donkey gave me a look of anger and turned around.

"Fist me."

I was confused.

"Excuse me?"

"Fist me daddy!"

"EW NO!"

Donkey bit me harder.

"FIST ME!"

I yelled.

"NO!"

He wagged his tail.

"You know you wanna do it daddy! Right here! In the middle of all this fundip!"

I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"I SAID NO!"

"FIST MY BAGEL!"

I punched Donkey and he slammed against the walls of the pot shattering it. He began coughing.

"Yaz more papi."

I looked at him in disgust.

Waluigi was speechless.

"Whats going on?"

Donkey spoke.

"WHO IS IT SHREK? ME OR THE TWIG?"

Waluigi looked at me clearly frightened at what I might say.

"Thats easy..Waluigi."

Donkey got up.

He started crying. His tears clouded his eyes.

"If I can't have you..NO ONE CAN!"

Donkey rammed into Waluigi slamming him on the wall.

His twig arms couldn't help him. He started screeching.

"Waaaaaaa!"

I grabbed Donkey.

"No BAD DONKEY!"

I pinned him against the floor.

"YAZZZ THAT'S RIGHT! PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY!"