Wilted

t w e n t y f i v e

I don't remember the ride to Alexandria, or even how it felt when I walked through the streets to my house. What I do remember though, is the bone crushing hug my mother gave me when I entered the door. She had been worried. 

"Where's your dad honey?" She asked and once more I broke down. 

"He-, he's gone, he to- took him. He k-killed, Abraham, and Gl-glenn. He, he almost killed all of us, he- was gonna," I choke between my tears. "Then, they took da-daddy away." 

I could feel her heart break with mine. Almost like it happened in tandem. She falls down to her knees, as do I. Holding each other close, I cry once again in her arms as one of her hands finds it's way to her stomach.

"Who?" She asks between shaky breaths. 

"Negan." 

____

The next couple days were restless to say the least. I'd begin sleeping in Carl and I's room. After about an hour or two, I'd wake up from a nightmare, he'd be easing me awake. I'd cry in his arms, before eventually heading to my mothers room and sleeping on the side that belonged to my father. 

It was a vicious cycle, one that seemed endless.  Eventually though it did stop. By the fourth night, I seemed exhausted enough that I slept the entire night away. Carl keeping me close to his chest also helped a lot. 

Other than my lack of sleep, I barely left the house. Most of the time, I just helped mom, or Carl with Judith. It's not that I didn't want to leave the house, but knowing I wouldn't see Glenn walking around with Maggie with a bright grin on his face, Abraham wouldn't be next to Sasha on the guard post making some smart ass remark, but most of all not seeing my Dad making plans for his next run with Aaron or helping Rick out broke my heart. 

I didn't want to face that harsh reality just yet. I couldn't bare to think about what my dad was going through. Was he even still alive? He had to be. 

Those are the types of things that raced through my mind as I laid in bed. Carl was still asleep, it was still early. I laid on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as lazily wove a hand into his hear, playing with it subconsciously. 

I could tell when he woke up. His breathing was no longer slow and smooth, it sped up slightly. 

"You gonna keep staring at me cowboy?" I asked adjusting myself slightly so I could lay on his shoulder but still look up at his face. 

"If you'll let me." He murmured turning his head and applying a kiss to my forehead. 

"Always." I whisper pressing a long kiss to his lips. "I want to leave the house today."

"You sure?" He asks and I nod. 

"I need to, it'll be good for me." 

"Anything you want love." He tells me with a smile before attacking my lips once more with his own.

When we pull apart, I stare into his eye deeply. Slowly, I move to get up and after one more quick kiss he lets me go. Before we leave I take a quick shower, detangling my hair and putting on a fresh pair of clothes. 

After exiting the bathroom, I find Carl ready to go. He's wearing a clean flannel and of course his hat. 

"Did you change your bandage?" I ask and he nods. 

"Yes dear." He laughs rolling his only eye.

We make our way down the streets of Alexandria. A few people are out and about, but it's still early. Come noon, the streets should be filled with laughing children playing tag and adults talking on their porches.