Chapter Seven

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The following week I finally got to a point where I felt I was able to move forward. Either way, I had to, because the constant longing for Adri didn't lead to anywhere.

As I'd lived in Fehérvár only for little more than half a year I knew just a handful of people there, so I didn't exactly have many candidates to make a move on with. Outside our base, I had little knowledge about the city, so I couldn't even wonder checking out the local lesbian bar. I wasn't even sure if there was one.

So I was left with the only one girl I knew was a lesbian too. As much as I feel ashamed for it, I immediately reached out for the easiest possible target. Her name was Zsuzsi, and if I ever met a woman who's never been able to get over self-loathing, that was her. She hardly had enough confidence to breathe, she avoided everyone in the building, and spent her whole day locked inside her office. I still don't know what exactly her task was, but she certainly wasn't amongst the close to two hundred people with whom I had regular work-related business.

And despite every introvertedness of hers, pretty much all the base knew she was a lesbian. She never dared to make a move on anybody, but her supposedly covert looks didn't leave much room for assumptions.

And to top it all, she clearly was an emotional train wreck, I was just too selfish to care about it. I needed someone close, and available, and these two requirements crossed everybody else out on my list.

I visited her first in her office on Wednesday. I took some not even closely important document to her, which wasn't even her concern. We never talked a word before, and it really would've been awkward to hit on her based on some never proven rumor. On purpose, I wore my tightest shirt, which made it look like I had at least some size of boobs, and my tightest pants that couldn't be any tighter even if they were made out of latex. I had to show her my best possible form to decide if we really were on the same team.

When I entered her office, she glanced up from behind her glasses, but that look spoke a thousand words. She checked me out quickly, but thoroughly, and I had no doubt she liked what she saw. I wished I could feel the same. It's not like she was ugly, or something. Her naturally kind face was framed with curly, dirty-blonde bangs, and her rectangle glasses consummated the cute bookworm look I would usually be all over for. Unfortunately for her, I already had a cute small bookworm I was all over for, and she wasn't in the same league with her. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, I just wanted to fill the void I felt because of Adri was never gonna be mine.

I played all the cheapest possible tricks for Zsuzsi, and she gave exactly the reactions I was looking for. When I leaned over the table to give her the document, when I put my hair behind my ear, and I even - not a joke, I literally did it - when I on my way out "accidentally" dropped my dossier and bent over to pick it up.

Next day I returned, but this time, without any cover story.

"Hey" I poked my head in her office, after a short knock.

"He... hey" she stuttered, while she dropped the book she was just reading, like it was something illegal.

I stepped in, and smiled at her.

"I just realized yesterday, even though I've been working here for almost a year, I haven't talked to you before."

She blinked puzzled. She had clearly no idea what I wanted from her.

"We... ell, yes. I... I don't usually leave my office."

"That's what I thought. But still, it would be great to know you a little better."

"Why?"

"Because I know everybody else around here, except for you."

Her awkwardness turned to suspicion in a second.

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