Why would he love me?

Coming out

Andrew

I hold my phone, sobbing. What do I do? How can I fix us? Make us the same?

I call the one person, I can turn to now. The one person who will listen. It hits me that not so long ago, that was Garrett. But I could never go to him with my problems now.

"H-h-hey s-Shane."

"Hey man, what's wrong?"

I sob into the phone unable to make a coherent sentence.

"Seriously, you're scaring me."

"I-it's g-g"

I'm unable to say his name. That's new. I really can't say his name now? Nice one Andrew.

"Did you fuck the g-wagon up?"

I pause. Is he for real?

"OMG, YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU. BABE, CAN YOU CHECK THE CARS?"

I hear Ry mumble something in the background.

"Of course not, you idiot."

I hear him laugh over the phone. Is that his idea of a joke? I take a deep breath before I speak. I know I can say it.

"It's Garrett."

"Garrett?"

The surprise in his voice is obvious.

"What's up with G?"

Come on Andrew, you can do this. Take a breath. Deep breaths.

"Can I uh- meet you? Only if you're not too busy."

"Yeah sure. You want to come to the house?"

If he's curious he hides it well. I finally reverse out Garrett's drive. The drive there is painfully slow. If Gare was here we'd be listening to terrible rap music and I'd have almost crashed the car due to laughing. But he's not here. The car is full of emptiness. Silence. Sadness.

Shane's at the door when I reach it. Can I really do this?

"Do you want to come upstairs? Ry went to yoga and Morgan's in the kitchen."

"Sure."

I walk up the stairs, quickly, to avoid Morgan. Not that I don't love her but I don't think I could hold a conversation right now.

"So?"

He turns to me as soon as he shuts the door and motions for me to sit on the bed.

"So..."

I'm procrastinating now.

"Not to be that guy, but if you want my help, you'll have to stop procrastinating."

I know he's right. Goddammit. Why does he have to be right?

"I uh..."

Come on Andrew, just spit it out. Shane's not going to judge you.

"I think I'm gay? Or bi? Probably bi?"

Has anyone ever sounded less sure? I think not. This must be the worst coming out ever.

He looks up at me. Holding my gaze. I can't read the expression on his face. It doesn't look like shock.

"Wow. Are you sure?"

"Um, I think so?"

"Shit, sorry. Of course, you're sure."

I see his face break into a grin. The smile stretches across his face.