Teachers Pet

17: Something More

        A finger snapping in my face pulled me out of my thoughts. I swatted Nolan's hand away.

       "You know I don't like that." He looked annoyed. It was probably because of me. Or maybe it was because he was holding a ladder with Dean atop it. Art club was helping Drama make a night sky backdrop. Bailey was on the other side on another ladder adding stars to the very top. Dean was doing the same for the front, just a bit lower though. I saw them occasionally look at each other, smiling and looking away. When did they get closer? I ignored them and focused on painting. All I had to do was paint over the black and purples.

       "You didn't hear my question," Nolan told me. I sighed, knowing very well what he asked me. It hadn't been a question either. I didn't even know how to respond. Considering how I reacted yesterday, I don't see why he even wanted to ask me. Or tell me.

       "What did you say?" I tried to play dumb. Nolan smiled as he adjusted his hold on Deans ladder.

       "I was saying how I felt ready for something more with you. I want to be with you, Blair." I rose my eyebrow at him, wondering where this much confidence was coming from. I've known him to be bold, but this was a bit much. I still wasn't ready to even consider this. There was Jake, and I still wanted very much to be with him. I couldn't exactly use him as a reason not to be with Nolan though. That would definitely be a turn in the conversation.

       And with how I left things yesterday and this morning with Jake, I wasn't sure what we were anymore. Did he still want me that way? Had my words bothered him that much? I wish I hadn't ditched first period. If I knew I would just end up seeing him in Drama, I would've just shown up and endured that confrontation. What if we were over? I needed to know how he felt... I knew how I felt about Nolan and how he made me feel when I was with him, but I couldn't be with Jake and Nolan at the same time. I had to know what Jake felt first. I needed to know where we stood before I even considered being with Nolan.

       "Can I think about it?" His smile tightened as he laughed without much humor.

      "What's there to think about?" My feelings for my teacher and the feelings I keep trying to ignore that I may or may not have for you.

      "I just wanna think it over." This shouldn't seem like such a casual conversation. It also didn't feel like the right place to be doing this. Did he want Dean to overhear? Hell, maybe he did. I never know how Nolan thinks half the time.

      "Blair." He leaned towards me, making me mess up my stroke. His hand went to my back as he leaned closer to my ear. I swallowed hard. He knew what he was doing. He knew I wouldn't push him away. I was too weak in mind and heart to do that. "I like you. I know you know that much."

        "I figured," I muttered. He laughed in my ear, making me nervous. He was too close for me to think straight.

       "And I know you like me too." I swallowed hard, thinking to myself about where I slipped up on that. How had he come to this conclusion? When did I suggest I liked him too? Maybe I did, I couldn't tell anymore. I just knew what I felt like when we were together. And I liked how I felt during those times.

       "You're confident in that assumption?" I asked, hearing my voice crack a bit.

       "Very," he whispered. I took a deep breath, hearing how ragged it was. Why was he doing this to me right now? "So?" He really expected me to give him an answer right now? I could hardly remember where I was or what I was doing. I turned my face to tell him that I needed time, but he took it as me trying to kiss him. Nolan smiled against my lips, making me wish I would speak up, but I couldn't find my words. Jake... I need to talk to Jake. With that thought, I pulled away, shocked and disappointed that I let myself give in this way.