The Good Kind

Chapter 8

Just give in.  Thoughts of me and Cole wake me up from my peaceful slumber. As I yawn and stretch last night's text messages enter the train. I subconsciously   smile and sit up. With another yawn I head to the bathroom to shower. As the jets pour over me the though train still runs. The water pours over me as I stare at the wall Cole still on my mind. A blush comes to my check as I realize I'm thinking about what would happen if he was here at the moment.  I shake off the embarrassment as I step out if the shower and wrap myself into a towel. I throw a wrap dress around me and get to drying my hair. I'm about to plug the hair dryer in when I realize I don't have class till 4. Sighing I roll my hair into a towel and head down stairs.  Yawning I fix myself some waffles and sit down on the coach to look through old pictures.

The first picture is one of me in a diaper with some cute little boy. My hands are dipped in cake mix and I find myself thinking if only mini me knew what was happening now. As I scim across them I find various picture of me throughout the years preschool, first day of high school, at the park, my first vacation. I grin thinking about my future children and all the memories we'll make. Shock comes across me as I find my grade 6 photo. My hair is shuffled into two shaggy braids and bangs are almost covering my eyes. My lips are pressed into a small smile and I shudder as I read the name bellow it. With that though I lay the pictures down and head up the steps. Even though it haunts me I carefully pull my hair into two braid matching the picture. As I tie the elastic the phone alerts me and I bound towards it hoping it's Cole.

"Hello Gabrielle " I shudder in disgust as my mom haunts me.

"Hey mom" I groan frustrated.

"Hey honey how are you? " she chirps reminding me of the good old days.

"Good I guess" I shrug trying not to let my frustration out.

"Any new boys? " A laugh escapes my mouth as the question gets asked for the 900th time in my life.

"Well there's one" I muffle the laugh still on the edge of my mouth. 

"Do you wanna know how long I've been waiting to hear that answer?" It comes out as a question but as she smiles excited from across the phone I know it's a fact.

"Why do you even want me to have a boyfriend? So he can push me to be perfect too?" I ask irritated but a second later I realize I shouldn't have said that. I know she was constantly pushing me my to be perfect my whole life but she apologized. And she's not the same and neither am I.

"Gabs no I'm sorry. I just want someone that can tell you that you already are perfect just the way you are. Oh and now I'm sure you still like boys or anyone in that matter " She states making me laugh. Thoughts race back a couple years to when my mom sat me down on the table to discuss whether or not I liked anyone. She specifically told me that it was okay to be lesbian and I was still perfect. And when she met Olivia she though we were dating. She almost freaked when she found out about me and my first boyfriend.

"Well we're not dating .....yet" I laugh knowing she'll still be fine with it.

"Key word yet?" She ponders and I laugh as I stifle a mmhmmm. For a few seconds the silence deepens us and I breath a sigh of relief as she speaks again.

"Still going to church? " She wonders calmly.

"Yes" I smile as her true wisdom shines out.

"You know the pastor had a beautiful service last Sunday. He talked about how our children depend on us for strengthening them. He said that out job is to ensure that they turn into fine people but also that they keep their faith and Brielle I'm so glad that you have kept your faith because I know I was not the best mom. I may not have always been there but I've always loved you and I just wanted to let you know that I'm so proud of all you've done" I try to hold it in but as she finishes I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

"Mom I love you too and you were always perfect or the closest to perfect you could be " As I think about it now I realize she tried so hard to ensure a good future for me. Even if she knew there were chances I wouldn't make it.

"Awe well honey you probably need to go so I just wanted to let you know I love you and when will you be graduating ? " I smile not a smile but a genuine smile.

"The 25th " I answer happy she'll be there.

"Booking plane tickets" She jokes laughing.

"Haha can you come a week early? " I ask hoping we can spend some time together before I graduate. .

"Yes hopefully " She grins well I think she does.

"Okay I love you" I smile sincere as I tell her how I feel.

"I love you too bye " She whispers silently.

"No don't leave " I grip onto her voice hoping I can hear it for longer.

"Okay " she laughs giving in easily.

"How's dad? " I ask turning back to getting ready.

Slowly I get myself ready the phone still by my ear. We talk about past life, grad, Cole, church and pretty soon I'm on my way to the car about to say goodbye. As I seat myself in my car I grab my phone and start playing a podcast. For once in so long I listen carefully and pick up what they're saying. Through class I keep my calm senses and try to see everything the way my mom would want me to. Later  proud of myself I turn down plans and take out my old picture again.  Slowly I run my hand over the edges  and slowly I begin to appreciate it.

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Kinda short but it's a update. Which I haven't done in a long time so I'm very sorry about that.

If you know me you'll get why she's graduating on the 25th.

Anyways thanks for reading it is much appreciated. I couldn't he more thankful for your support so thank you chicas soo much.

💟Helena💟

(If you don't know me the reason is I graduated that day too but last month)