The People's Alpha ✔

23: Mail Time

The TV was on in the bedroom when I finally reached bed. I wanted nothing more than to sleep. It had been a long day. But the mail had been piling up on the kitchen table for some time, and my curiosity was getting the better of me. Once upon a time, this had been something we looked forward to. It was a long played out joke by now.

I looked at the blaring TV. "The Real Lunas of Whitehaven? Is that still going?"

"Just got renewed for a seventeenth season." Laura adjusted the volume, not looking away from the TV. "It's ugly. But you can't look away."

"I thought you weren't into this kind of stuff."

"Sometimes, nothing else will do."

I held forth the pile in my hands. "Actually, I was thinking of doing the mail."

She just shook her head slightly, without taking her gaze away from the TV.

"Well it's been piling up, and I thought it would be better to get it over and done with. It would be more fun if we went through them together."

She grimaced a little.Just enough to get the message across. "That got old the first time you said it, Jim. Put it back on the kitchen table. We've got a whole day to get it over and done with tomorrow."

"I've got other things planned. Namely cleaning the house."

"I was going to do it in the early morning, before everyone else woke up."

"Well, I'm opening them anyway." I balanced the pile on my bedside table.

"It's probably the same old stuff." She refocused on the argument that Eva and Madison were having on-screen, over Madison's choice of decor for the master ensuite redo she was planning.

She wasn't half wrong. It was mostly the usual stuff. Bills and invoices and magazines we had long forgotten we were subscribed to. Then there were the letters from the Zirconians.

I opened and read the first letter. "Dear Alpha Jim. You make me hopeful that the Independent Territories has a bright future ahead of it. Keep on doing what you do. Love from New Brighton, your devoted fan, Courtney."

Of course it was from New Brighton. There was a reason it was called the Florida of Zirconia.

"Well, thanks, Courtney." Laura did not move her glance from the TV. "Some female fans. That's nice. We're going to have no problems when we move over there."

"We're not moving over there."

She gave me another look.

"A lot of these people also have very strong opinions about immigration from across the border, you know."

The next letter was short and to the point. "Dear Mr Jim. Fuck you, you chauvinist pig."

Laura sniggered. "Ok. No love lost there."

The next thing we'd received was in a large envelope. Inside was a laminated poster. It took me a few seconds to fully register what was printed on it.

My three predecessors were overlaid on the clouds, with me on the ground. There was text in capital letters, which was blood red for some reason.

The text said:

YOU WATCH THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

WE'LL WATCH THE SKIES

Laura did actually turn from the TV this time. She stifled a giggle at the sight of my face. "They took the effort to laminate that? Wow."

I put the poster back in the envelope as quickly as I could and stuffed it in the bottom of the pile. "I don't think I'll ever understand the conservative Zirconian psyche. We are not moving to the same side of the border as these lunatics."