To Dream or Not to Dream

Imagination

It was another early morning at the club for Isabella Lawson.  Just over an hour ago, she had left her childhood best friend sleeping on her couch, and tiptoed out the front door.  Despite her strong desire to spend every moment with him during his short time in Canada, she had work to do.

In just two days, the day she had both anticipated and feared would arrive. She would participate in her first skating competition since childhood, at a district competition,

It was a small scale competition- minute compared to that of other skaters at this club, but for Isabella, it was monumental and nerve wracking.  Especially considering she still was not confident in her program.  Her coaches had been on her for weeks to be more expressive and let her feelings show.

She still wasn't sure how exactly to do that.

To Isabella, figure skating was an amazing sport because it was not only technically impressive, but because it was a display of art.  She admired skaters who were able to evoke emotion from the audience.  If she couldn't achieve that too, she couldn't help but question her place in this sport. What was the purpose of her performance if she couldn't make the audience feel something?

Isabella had never been more frustrated in her entire life.

She groaned, loudly.

"Everything okay?"

Her head snapped towards Yuzuru, who had entered the rink without her even noticing.

Having extended her own practice time in both the evening and the morning, she often crossed paths with him at this time- she half expected it. However, she had been so lost in thought she hadn't even realized he had stepped on the same ice as her.

Isabella sighed, finally responding, "Yeah."

"You don't look like everything is okay."

Isabella hesitated, contemplating whether she wanted to confide in him.  He already had plenty on his plate, and besides, her competition was minuscule compared to his coming ones, almost like child's play. She was sure he would think her concerns trivial.  In the end, she decided against sharing.

"It's nothing."

Yuzuru observed her closely. He had become well-acquainted with her subconscious gestures, having felt an innate compulsion to decipher every one of them.

Over the last few days he felt like he was watching a house of cards when he looked at her. From an outsider's point of view she seemed composed, but her subconscious gestures gave her away. She looked like she was about to lose her composure and tumble to the ground. 

"You have a competition soon," he spoke.

Isabella's eyes widened, not because he read her mind (although he did), but because she was shocked he knew that piece of information- that she had a competition.  She hadn't mentioned it to him, and she didn't anticipate he would care about such a minor event, especially considering his focus on defending an Olympic medal.

"Yeah, I do." She grimaced, embarrassed. "If I don't get laughed off the ice."

"Why would you get laughed off the ice?" He spoke in his native tongue, like he often did when he felt the topic of conversation important.

Isabella held his gaze, sending a look that clearly communicated, 'Are you daft?'

"Don't look at me like that! You have really improved," he insisted.  "Have more confidence in yourself."

She finally let her concerns spill, "Even if I have improved, my program is still not good.  I can't figure out how to express myself.  Coach Brian told me I look like a drone when I skate."