To Dream or Not to Dream

Introspection- Time Away Brings Clarity

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Toronto Canada - 2016

The next months went quickly for Isabella.

Her mornings were filled with off rink training.  Her afternoons were spent on the ice.  Her evenings were spent serving food to the local Toronto population.

As she sat on public transportation, finally making her way home for the night, a firm smile of determination was present on her face.

She had not stopped thinking about the World Championships since they occurred.

The murmur of the crowd, the silent determination of the athletes, the beauty that physically manifested itself through athleticism and story telling...the tears of emotional recollection from the audience members.

In particular, she could vividly recount Yuzuru Hanyu's performance.

She had always marveled at his skating, long before she had come to Toronto. However, while his greatness was universally acknowledged, it had only recently begun to resonate with her on a personal level. Ever since that early morning at the TCC when she saw him skate, she had grappled to understand why his performances stirred such deep emotions within her.

Now, she finally understood.

When Yuzuru Hanyu performed, he bared it all to the world. Without any form of mask, without fear, his emotions were on full display every time he took the ice. He faced the world head-on and lived authentically to his desires. And rather than succumbing to life's challenges, he embraced them as a source of motivation, refusing to let them stifle his spirit.

In essence, Yuzuru Hanyu was everything she was not.

While he was busy showing the world his beautifully painted canvas, she concealed herself behind a lackluster curtain of mediocrity. While he embraced the present moment, she remained tethered to the past.

But Isabella was determined to break free.

A piano piece sounded through her headphones. Her eyes fluttered closed, blocking her view of other passengers on this bus.  In her mind's eyes, she could see herself there too- on the ice.

She was skating, dancing, telling the story of her soul.

She was imagining.

She was dreaming.

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Sendai - Japan

Yuzuru no longer loved the scorching summer months.

In the earlier years of his life, these months became a cherished respite- a time to reconnect with family and friends, free from the strains of the competitive season. Amidst the warmth of family dinners and the laughter shared over games, he could momentarily detach from the gravitational pull of his sport. It was a period that allowed him to normalize, to embrace an identity beyond that of a figure skater, even though skating still occupied a significant part of his time during these months.

As a younger child and a teenager, these breaks were embraced with joy. However, with the passage of time, he found it increasingly challenging to disengage his mind from the demands of his sport, even when he was supposed to be resting.

Now, he longed for those times, when he was unburdened by preoccupations.

He missed being able to fully immerse himself with his family. He missed wanting to catch up with his friends, play random sports in a park, and going to summer festivals. He missed binge-watching various anime and being chided for not sleeping for 32 hours.