To Dream or Not to Dream

Finding Meaning

Authors Note: I have yet to come to terms with Yuzuru's announcement of leaving competitive figure skating. I feel like something so immensely beautiful has just ended, but at the same time has just started. Cheers to a beautiful competitive career that I do not believe anyone will ever be able to match again. Also, cheers to the independence and artistic freedom he has just gained without the strangle hold of the ISU. Fly High Yuzuru!

This is a very long chapter. I hope you enjoy. Please like and comment to cheer up my aching heart. 😅

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Toronto

Isabella had always been keenly interested in people's intentions. To her, the outcome of a situation often mattered less than the reasoning behind it. She thought it spoke a lot about a person's character and their true feelings. It was like taking a small peak inside someone's head and their heart.

There was a reason for people's behavior. There was always a reason. Just like there was meaning and reason behind her actions.

Although Isabella often found her own thoughts elusive, she knew the reason she had made changes in her life. For instance, she knew why she had left her home to move to Toronto and why she had abandoned her career to pursue what many labelled a childhood pipe dream.

It was because her heart was not fulfilled by the melancholy that had ensnared her for years.

Simply, she had wanted more.

So, she had left her hometown and took a risk. She had moved to a new country, and for over a year now, Isabella pursued her happiness and dreams with unwavering dedication.  On top of that, to her surprise, she had even formed some of the most meaningful relationships of her lifetime.

One, in particular, she truly had not accounted for.

The bond between her and Yuzuru had quickly become irreplaceable. On the ice, his camaraderie, encouragement, and skill had fueled her desire to pursue her dreams. Off the ice, his love made her feel like she had never lived until they had met. 

The irony of the situation was that Isabella was becoming more and more certain that her love for the man was even greater than her love for the ice.

Which made absolutely no sense, because this was the moment  she had dreamed about for years, long before she ever knew the Japanese boy.  This was the moment she had longed for since her and her sister had sent a letter to the North Pole, asking Santa for new skates when they were in Elementary school.  This was the moment where she should feel accomplished.

But this just didn't feel like she had anticipated.

Isabella's eyes moved to her right, where a stranger - the silver medalist- stood beaming on the podium next to her.  The young girl gazed at the crowd with her medal clasped tightly in her hand.  For a moment, Isabella couldn't help but imagine that being her sister.  That was how it was supposed to be- Isabella here with her sister by her side.

Isabella shook her head, the image quickly fading away.

Her hands grazed over the medal that suddenly felt light in her palm.

Suddenly, she felt like she was losing meaning, disconnected from the reasons that had fueled her journey.

It was in that moment that Isabella grasped the fluid nature of dreams. Dreams were not static; they could evolve. Perhaps, without her awareness, her dreams had already changed without her even realizing. 

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This was the first time Isabella was going over to Yuzuru's house.