CAN'T BE SAVED|| NBAK

✔24

tɑyɱѳʀ
"Tay baby you aight?" Jahseh sat on the bed next to me. We were in his house. We have been since four days ago. Ion know what's wrong with me. I just feel weird. I feel depressed even. Before I could respond though I shot up from the bed rushing to the toilet.I threw up most of the food they forced me to eat last night.

"Something is wrong. We need to go to the doctor."he said rubbing my back as I finished puking. I sniffed standing up unable to prevent my falling tears even when I was brushing my teeth.

"I just feel so frustrated and trapped Jahseh. Everything is weighing me down. I never expected Melly to show up and want us back. You know foe a fact how deep we was then there is Kentrell..I just-FUCK!"I screamed covering my face with my hands.

"Do you still love Melly?"he asked. I removed my hands from my face. I blinked the tears away biting the inside of my cheek.

"I think I always will Jah. He is my first everything."I had to be honest with myself. No matter how bad he hurt me.

"And Kentrell? Do you have feelings for him?"this time I sucked my lower lip into my mouth contemplating the question. Thinking about Kentrell made my heart act funny. My stomach too.

"I don't know Jahseh."I shook my head tears spilling more violently.

"How can you not know Tay? You're supposed to. I mean it's your heart. If you don't know then who else will?"he frowned. I groaned getting more frustrated by the second.

"May be if Jamell didn't come back and actually left me willing and not because of an illness then it wouldn't be so hard to hate him and I could just say fuck him but I can't. Yes he hurt me really bad but he is still the person that I adored the most once upon a time."I wiped the tears that continued to fall." With Kentrell well....I just met him. I mean we have chemistry and all but I can't just be quick to label it. If he wasn't a wanted man right now may be we could figure it out together and possibly have a future but that's just my luck right. Jamell is dying soon."I broke down at that. I still didn't want to believe it."...and Kentrell...he can't offer me a life Jah."it was the bitter truth I had to swallow. Jahseh pulled me into his arms hugging me tightly. I let out painful sobs wondering if I'll ever live a normal life.

"K-Kentrell?"I choked entangling myself from Jahseh. He was standing by the door looking at us. Jahseh turned his eyebrows raising them at him too. Kentrell wiped at his face and that's when I noticed the tears.

"I-uhm Nick-let me in."he said his eyes darting everywhere before he looked at the ceiling puffing his cheeks.

"I'll leave" Jahseh walked out. I pursed my lips watching Kentrell. I wasn't trying as hard as he was to stop my tears. Question is why is he crying?

"How long you been standing there?"I asked at last wiping the wetness on my face.

"Long enough to know how confused you are right now."he finally faced me but looked away as two tears flowed down his cheeks. I sucked in air before rushing over to him. I leeched my body against his feeling his warmth and scent relax me slightly. Fuck I missed him bad and it's only been four days. If anything in his arms my crying just got worse. He held me tight too. Wetness landing on my shoulder since his face was buried there.

This sudden urge to be around him engulfed me and I never wanted to let him go in the slightest. Letting him go scared the fuck outta me and I knew at that moment that not even Jamell dying could hurt me like not having a future with him.

"I'm sorry."he sobbed against my shoulder. I was sorry too. Sorry that this was the circumstances we had to live in.

"You are completely right Tay. I can't give you a future."he pulled away looking into my eyes." I wish I could but-"he closed his eyes resting his forehead against mine."i'm finna turn myself in."he said low as if scared of the words. My whole world shattered everything beginning to spin. I shook my head as my heart contracted in my chest.

"No!"I croaked holding him tighter." You can't!"I yelled my voice frantic and scared." You can't leave me...i-i I fucking need you Kentrell!"I broke down. My vision begun to blur as I heard my own anguished cries in my ears. His words swum around in my head. He was talking to me. Asking if I was okay. I could hear him slipping. His voice further and further away. I was losing him and the light too. I couldn't breathe. Someone probably Kentrell was lifting me off my feet. The light faded completely and I felt nor seen nor heard nothing else.

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Short but still an update
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