CAN'T BE SAVED|| NBAK

✔ 20

Taymor
"Jamell?"

"You missed me?"

"The hell you doing here?"I asked mugging him. He scoffed pushing me out of the way and entering. This nigga! I huffed going in after him." I didn't invite you in."I muttered but he was already walking into the kitchen. He opened the fridge taking out a sprite." This ain't yoh house nigga the fuck?"I went ti grab the can out of his hands but he moved dodging me and walking out again. I followed him like a puppy as he went into my bedroom. He took off his jacket and threw it to the side then plopped on MY bed.

"What do you think you are doing Jamell?"I yelled.

"Oh so now he knows me. Funny."he chuckled drinking from the can. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh finally remembers I exist? Funny."I mocked him looking at my nails.

"I missed you. A lot. It's clear you didn't miss me though."a frown formed on his face.

"You right. I ain't miss you at all. After you walk out on me no call no letter no nothing! What did you expect? That I would be waiting on Jesus and still wait on you? Nigga please."I rolled my neck one hand on my hip. He looked at me squarely before emptying the can into his mouth then throwing it on the floor. I pursed my lips.

"Get out right now Demons!"I picked the can hitting him on the head with it. He didn't even flinch.

"I was in a hospital Taymor."he said with a straight face. I frowned for second registering what he just said.

"What you talking about?"I asked still confused.

"Come're."he stretched his hand out for me from the bed.

"No. Am good."I crossed my arms leaning against the wall. He growled mugging me.

"Ta-fuck!"he suddenly hissed holding his head. I watched as he rummaged through his pockets. Not finding whatever he was looking for he cussed again groaning as if he was in pain. He stumbled out of the bed staggering to where his jacket was kneeling down on it. He searched the pockets again but I guess he didn't find what he was looking for. He leaned forward holding his head as he grunted in pain. Now I was alarmed. What was going on? Was he faking this to get my attention? My thoughts were disrupted when he begun to cry. His shoulders shaking as he begun hitting his head with his hands pulling at the black bennie he had on.My caring side had to spring up and I was at his side in a heart beat.

"Melly? You okay?"I asked confused and unsure. He suddenly held onto me his tears sipping into my grey t-shirt.

"H-help me. Help me Tay....it hurts so bad..."he cried his fingers digging into my arm.

"What's happening? How do I help you? Talk to me Jamell."I was in full panic mode.

"My car....it's...it's outside. Get me my my p-pills....oh fuck!"he struggled to speak. What the fuck?"please..."i've never seen him like this. Jamell crying is...is...is...uhm I have no word for it but its just not normal.

"Okay lemme help you up."I tried lifting him up.

"No! Just go!"he yelled lifting his body off me. I got up sprinting to the door and running out to his car which luckily wasn't locked. I checked the glove compartment finding a white pill bottle with no label. I opened it breathing heavily. Hopefully this was the one because there wasn't any other on sight. There was this huge white pills inside. I quickly closed the door running back inside.

"Is this it?"I asked kneeling beside him again. He looked left reaching his hand out but the problem was I was at his right." I'm here."he followed my voice his hand still reaching out.

"Give it to me."he swatted his hand around. What the hell? If I didn't know any better I would say he can't see. Making it easier for him I placed the bottle in his hand. He quickly opened it taking one pill out and swallowing without water.

"Jamell?"I called shakily.

"What?"he snakily replied.

"C-can you s-see me?"I asked my heart racing. He looked off to the side.

"Of course I can."he licked his lips the gesture making my heart drop outta my ass. His lying.

~®~
I played around with Jamell's fingers his head resting on my lap. I was still waiting for him to explain things to me because I was greatly confused.

"Tay?"he shifted slightly.

"Yes?"my voice was dry and rough.

"I'm sorry."he mumbled. I said nothing continuing to play with his fingers. What exactly was he apologetic about? Abandoning me? No communicating with me? Or overall breaking my whole world?" I have brain tumour Tay. I'm gonna die soon."he breathed out. An unexpected sound came from my mouth as my throat constricted. I stopped playing with his fingers my hands raising to cup my mouth.

No! It's not possible.

I really never expected that to come from his mouth. Nah am just dreaming right now. I'mma wake up and I will find myself on the couch with icecream on my face.

"I was diagnosed a year before I left but I just didn't take it that serious. It was pretty serious though. It came to the point I couldn't ignore it any longer and I had to have surgery then under go chemo. All this time i've been there trying to get rid of it till recently when I had enough of the torturous expensive ass treatment. I was gonna die and I knew it."he spoke nonchalantly. I shook my head tears streaming from my eyes. I wanted to speak but I didn't trust my voice.

"You have no idea how it broke me to leave you Taymor but I just couldn't let you see the person o had turned into. For you i've always been this strong person you could depend on. A person who could protect you. That's why I never said anything because in that hospital I was the complete opposite. Weak and lifeless. I didn't want to ruin the image you had of me.The hope of seeing you again is what kept stucking to the treatment until I couldn't take it anymore. The nausea and the weakness I was feeling was too much."he paused shifting again. I seen the tears staining his cheeks. I cried silently listening while on the other hand I didn't want to believe what I was hearing.

"I was scared as fuck that you would move on and find someone else. I was right though."he chuckled dryly. "My very cousin at that."I cringed just thinking about it. My whole life was fucked up.

"I had to see you though. I needed to. My aim in living the hospital in Seattle was to spend my last days with the love of my life. That's my only wish."he looked up at me. This time he could really see me." My blindness is only temporary. It could be worse. Like I can't feel my left leg."he laughed as if something was funny.

"You had no right to keep this from me."I spoke my voice cracking.

"Oh did I mention I was bald?"he cheesed taking off his beanie completely disregarding my statement. There wasn't a single strand of hair on his head. I could clearly make out the scar from the surgery." Chemo does that to you."he put the beanie back on.

I covered my face with my hands crying silently. I would rather he had left me to be with someone else and be okay and healthy than this. At least then I could comfortably hate him in peace. I wouldn't want this for anyone.

°^°
Well like usual I didn't edit this so just over look errors.
Damn why are my books full of sadness from the beginning?😭😭😭
Anyways hope you enjoy.