off camera.

chapter twenty five

"See you soon, Camz," Lauren says, and Camila really hopes that when she sees her, she's as bright and smiley as usual. "I love you."

"I love you too," Camila murmurs, and when she hears the three beeps that indicate Lauren has hung up, she drops her phone with a sigh. She loves her so much, and she knows she's hurting. She hates that; that her career is hurting the love of her life, even if Lauren is much too good to her to say anything.

She gets ready, not bothering to pack any pyjamas in case Lauren doesn't want her to stay over or if she's working tonight, and then asks her mom for a ride as she's heading out to the grocery store. Camila is quiet and contemplative on the drive, worried about her girlfriend and hoping her eyes will be brighter today.

When she's dropped off outside of Lauren's house, she walks up the driveway, noting that only Lauren's car is parked, which means her parents are definitely out – it is a weekday after all, and the high school Clara teaches at hasn't finished for summer yet. She knocks on the front door, waiting on the porch for a few minutes as Dash barks, and she's almost starting to get worried that Lauren isn't going to answer when the door swings open.

"Hey, sorry," Lauren sends her an apologetic smile, "I was getting dressed."

"Oh, you didn't have to get dressed for me," Camila says as she passes by her girlfriend to get into the house. She quickly plasters on a teasing grin and adds, "I'd actually prefer it if you weren't wearing clothes at all."

"Okay, pervert," Lauren laughs, and so far, Camila thinks she's okay, "hot chocolate is ready and waiting in the kitchen, by the way. I got halfway through making it and then realised I was literally in a unicorn onesie so I had to go make myself at least slightly presentable."

"Oh my god, I would've found the onesie adorable," Camila jumps up from the floor once she's taken her shoes off, and immediately wraps her arms around Lauren's waist, pulling her in for a kiss. She feels Lauren's arms around the back of her neck and she smiles into the kiss, loving the way it never gets old; kissing Lauren always gives her the same amount of butterflies no matter how many times they do it. "Okay, that was a lovely welcome. Hi."

Lauren meets her gaze with a small smile, and all Camila can see in her eyes is happiness. "Hey."

Camila just looks at her, taking in her beauty, holding her close, until the moment is finally broken by Dash barking and making Lauren jump. Camila snorts. "You just got scared by a dachshund."

"Shut up, I wasn't expecting it," Lauren rolls her eyes, giving Camila another quick, innocent kiss before she breaks out of her hold and pulls her towards the kitchen by the wrist. "It's going to be lukewarm chocolate at this point, but the Harry Potter mug is yours. I made it extra chocolatey."

"Hey, yeah, why the fuck do you like hot chocolate if you don't like regular chocolate, you weirdo," Camila crinkles her nose in disgust as she picks up her mug from the counter and takes a sip. "That's like, not logical."

"I make mine a little milkier, so it's like... a hint of chocolate, and not an aggressive amount like yours, loser," Lauren sips her own drink and leans back against the counter, fixing her with more of a serious look. "Are you going to tell me whatever it was you wanted to tell me?"

"I just... wanted to see if you were okay." Camila hedges. "You've been looking kind of... sad. The last few times we've hung out, anyway. I think you forget that I can read you really well and a couple of smiles isn't going to convince me."

Lauren breaks eye contact and looks anywhere but Camila, letting out a small sigh. "I've been better, but I've also been worse, so I don't think it's anything to worry about."